Chitoshi
MyPTSD Pro
Hi everyone,
I hope I'm posting this in the right place. I guess I'm just looking for some company who understands where I'm at.
I've had chronic neck and upper back/shoulder pain for 8 years. It feels like my muscles are being pulled to their limit and twisted to try and turn them into an actual rope most days, not sharp stabbing pain, but this pain like my muscles are being pulled like taffy. I'm in my late twenties now and I was in my early twenties when it started, but it didn't really get bad until 4 years ago. I have good days and bad days, but I'm generally in pain all. the. time.
My husband doesn't even ask me if I'm in pain anymore because we just assume I'm always in pain. It's a celebration when I'm having a low, almost-no-pain day.
I've been in and out of the doctor, in and out of PT, in and out of pain management specialist offices. I've had nerve-burning, which didn't help, I've had injections, which don't help, I've had my thoracic spine and cervical spine looked at in MRIs and they don't show anything. I flat out refuse to take opiods because I have this weird fear of addiction (I hardly take my Xanax when I'm panicking because I fear I'm going to get addicted to it, one of the many things I'm working on in therapy).
I'm an educator and we started remote today with all day training from 8 AM to 3 PM with 15 minute breaks in between an hour of sit-and-get video-conference style training, and I had 5 hours of agony afterwards. I used my pain numbing cream prescribed by my pain specialist that doesn't cut through my pain as much as it needs to (goes deep into the muscles almost to the bone where the cream somehow can't reach), I used two NSAID pain meds, and laid on a heating pad crying for 3 out of those 4 hours.
I can barely pick up things without pain from my shoulders, I feel like my neck can barely support my head. I'm just feeling hopeless about ever getting a diagnosis, the doctor straight up said she has no clue why this is happening. We're trying another MRI of my cervical spine again.
I don't really feel like I have anyone to talk to about the pain, because although I know my husband hears me, I know he can't truly "get it" because he doesn't feel the pain like I do. I just felt that maybe putting all of it that I can remember right now on here may just help me feel heard.
I hope I'm posting this in the right place. I guess I'm just looking for some company who understands where I'm at.
I've had chronic neck and upper back/shoulder pain for 8 years. It feels like my muscles are being pulled to their limit and twisted to try and turn them into an actual rope most days, not sharp stabbing pain, but this pain like my muscles are being pulled like taffy. I'm in my late twenties now and I was in my early twenties when it started, but it didn't really get bad until 4 years ago. I have good days and bad days, but I'm generally in pain all. the. time.
My husband doesn't even ask me if I'm in pain anymore because we just assume I'm always in pain. It's a celebration when I'm having a low, almost-no-pain day.
I've been in and out of the doctor, in and out of PT, in and out of pain management specialist offices. I've had nerve-burning, which didn't help, I've had injections, which don't help, I've had my thoracic spine and cervical spine looked at in MRIs and they don't show anything. I flat out refuse to take opiods because I have this weird fear of addiction (I hardly take my Xanax when I'm panicking because I fear I'm going to get addicted to it, one of the many things I'm working on in therapy).
I'm an educator and we started remote today with all day training from 8 AM to 3 PM with 15 minute breaks in between an hour of sit-and-get video-conference style training, and I had 5 hours of agony afterwards. I used my pain numbing cream prescribed by my pain specialist that doesn't cut through my pain as much as it needs to (goes deep into the muscles almost to the bone where the cream somehow can't reach), I used two NSAID pain meds, and laid on a heating pad crying for 3 out of those 4 hours.
I can barely pick up things without pain from my shoulders, I feel like my neck can barely support my head. I'm just feeling hopeless about ever getting a diagnosis, the doctor straight up said she has no clue why this is happening. We're trying another MRI of my cervical spine again.
I don't really feel like I have anyone to talk to about the pain, because although I know my husband hears me, I know he can't truly "get it" because he doesn't feel the pain like I do. I just felt that maybe putting all of it that I can remember right now on here may just help me feel heard.