chronic emotional numbing subsiding

[FMCA]

Ive been on the keto diet for 10 weeks and the last few days i've felt different. Like I want to read a book and i was looking forward to buying paint for my hall. Theres been other things small things too , like im starting to connect with life. Weirdly though, although I feel things are continuing to improve with my mental health, i have had physical symptoms of anxiety. I read somewhere that sometimes thats a sign of growth and the body feeling uncomfortable about it, dont know.

Has anyone else experienced emotional numbing subsiding? If so, what did it feel like, emotionally and physically?

 

[Movingforward10]

Yes, through therapy.
I can't say how it felt physically because I wasn't able to connect to my body and was learning/still am learning that but one of the main things I noticed was pain threshold was reduced and I got/get upset now with stomachches or pain.
Emotionally: sorry to say for me it was very overwhelming to start with. I would have a feeling. Not know what the feeling was. Fight it and want it to go as I wouldn know what to do with it and it scared me. Which made the feeling more heightened. And it escalated.
I had no framework to deal with emotions. Mainly because I suppressed them from childhood and here I was in my 40s trying to learn things people learnt growing up.
So, for me, it was tough.
What helped me was therapy .
Also the feelings wheel. I still use it as a reference. Help to identify the feeling.
And slowly, learning to accept the feeling and learning that I don't need to fight it. That the feeling will go on it's own. Fighting it makes it worse.

It wasn't easy for me. I hope it's easier for you.

 

[Sideways]

If so, what did it feel like, emotionally and physically?

Physically it was good - I had more energy, and I channelled it appropriately, so I ended up in a better place physically.

Emotionally, though? The word for me is Instability. Not being numb means I get to experience the highs and joys and wonder. But it also meant that there was very little buffer on shame and loneliness and isolation and guilt and grief. So, bigger highs than I was used to, but with unchecked lows as well.

 

[FMCA]

@Movingforward10 and @Sideways , thank you.

I feel better physically and I feel like i'm starting to cope with life better, like going out more and starting to read again and i'm reaching out more.

I think I was feeling anxiety because I had been on my own too long and while I didn't use to mind being on my own for days with no contact with people can become a bit overwhelming. Started feeling like i might lose my mind at one point but that's now passed.

The loneliness has become more of an issue now and I know it is because at one point I wasn't as bothered but now I'm thinking about how much I need connection more so than before. Its like I actually understand im lonely and its not normal to have so little connection with people. I suppose i'm feeling the loneliness and isolation more now.

 

[Susan Jane]

Loneliness and isolation is a double edged sword for me. I feel lonely and I isolate myself because I don’t feel comfortable around people when I feel these things. That said the loneliness is what makes me depressed. Still trying to figure it out. I find it hard to count on people, it makes me a nervous wreck. This only happens in my bad phases, but it’s a real challenge for me. I don’t trust that people really love me no matter how often they tell me. Old childhood wounds of being told I am loved and then abandoned by my mother.

 

[FMCA]

@Susan Jane, I don't think i feel uncomfortable around people, i think i just don't want to admit to myself the full extent of my loneliness. I went to a support group yesterday and I think it was just being around people who shared their own struggles made me realise how much connection i didn't have in my life. It sort of hit home how bad things have got. I am trying its just not working. I don't think id trust anyone if they said they loved me either. I just think ive been lonely that long its become just a part of reality for me but i went to the group i realised how not normal it is. Maybe ive always had low expectations for myself. Like low expectations in every area of my life.

 

[Susan Jane]

@FMCA Well I understand and I think I am best in small groups if anything. I get overwhelmed and perhaps I am an introverted extrovert. Not everyone enjoys being in groups. At the moment I am in a clinic and even that’s too much. Yesterday I had a rather harsh treatment ECT for my depression and funny enough many of these people looked after me. It was heartwarming the amount of care they showed and it reminded me how truly lonely and afraid I am. Hard to explain but very very frightening. It’s that I am here you are safe feeling I never had. I felt it with my roommate as well. She is kind.

 

[FMCA]

@Susan Jane , I hope your feeling better after the ECT. I get why its frightening. I go into the local newsagents and I had a nice conversation with one of the staff today. It makes me feel like I have some connection. If I go out I try to speak to people in the shops or wherever else i might go, definitely nowhere exciting. Sometimes if i don't speak to anyone for a week, it frightens me then and my anxiety gets a lot worse and i know I've got to go out then. I go to a local park too and seeing the animals and birds in nature helps. I try to remember we are all connected to everything else in the universe.

I also try to remember, that a lot of people experience loneliness and I also think its part of how people live now too. I try to chat to old people when i'm out because I think about the fact they may be living alone and are lonely too .

 

[Susan Jane]

Well loneliness is an internal feeling for me. I have friends people who love me but loneliness is my constant companion. I remember it as a child. I do like saying hey to people in shops like you said makes on feel alive part of the goings ons….

 

[FMCA]

Unfortunately, before I managed to overcome my emotional dysregulation, I was nasty to people. So everyone backed off or have just decided not to speak to me again. I don't blame them one bit. Just so glad I found the keto diet because I couldn't do it without it.