Relationship Emotional numbing/flatness

[Freida]

yep -- they are just starting to admit there is trauma and it can cause PTSD in responders and dispatchers.
Have you seen these?
Dead Link Removed
THE BADGE OF LIFE - Police Suicide Prevention Program - Badgeoflife.com - Police Suicide Prevention Program

 

[RRT13]

@Freida I have not but Ill check it out.
My old car partner on patrol actually committed suicide a few years ago. Sad our sons were born same day an ahour and a half a part. Def leaves a bitter taste and no closure.

 

[Freida]

oh I'm so sorry!!!! that is so hard.... And yea - the no closure thing. It leaves everyone behind second guessing for answers they will never get.

 

[RRT13]

@Freida thanks but hey thats life right.

 

[anon1234]

We're long distance which makes it more complicated. Is it his emotional flatness or loss of interest. If it was someone else he's interested in I dont think he'd agree to let me visit this week and still agree to go on our cruise in May.

You know, I am in a similar situation. I always have to remind myself that the old "he's just not that into you" rules do not apply. When we first got together, it was wonderful, but I then experienced isolation for a good 7-8 weeks. The things you read here about what happens after the first few months were all too true.

I had concerns this weekend about whether he was interested in someone else. However, he has never lied to me and been completely honest. There are other things that are too identifiable on this forum to mention, but they make me trust him. He is very articulate and erudite and tells me everything he is thinking. He tells me about how he has been trained to numb, tells me that he likes to isolate. He told me that recently he is interacting with no-one. I know that he finds a lot of social things emotionally exhausting and just goes into default numb mode. He also consciously forces himself into it on many occasions.

 

[RRT13]

Im going to visit him today.
When talking to him yeaterday about visiting he still seems emotionally flat but says yes to me coming to visit.
I dont want to put any pressure on him emotionally just see how we do since its been about 6 weeks since weve seen each other.

 

[Freida]

Fingers crossed!

 

[Tree23]

As long as it doesn't sound like pity then I guess I'll be okay with it. Hate when people treat you nicer because they think you need it to live

 

[jessica p]

Im going to visit him today.
When talking to him yeaterday about visiting he still seems emotionall...

How did it go? I am in a similar position I have not seen my boyfriend for 6 weeks every time I arrange to meet he makes an excuse and says he is busy? We had a small disagreement 6 weeks ago and has barely spoken to me since, I found out he has been talking to other girls even tho he said he was depressed and didn’t want to talk to me let alone any1 else, he says he just needs time but time for what to see if something better comes along ? Sometimes I feel he is using his ptsd to get away with the lies he has told me

 

[Deleted member 44240]

How did it go? I am in a similar position I have not seen my boyfriend for 6 weeks every time I arrange to meet he m...

IMO you should run for the hills. My ex broke up with me and said he needed time. Like you, I’m thinking for what? I got my answer today. He ran back to his ex, and he was also seeing other people.

Who deserves that kind of treatment from someone they loved and admired. Although, I should be mad as hell right now, I’m not. I had a gut feeling that he was up to being trashy and whorish. Unfortunately, he can no longer get me caught up in his madness again. I’ve read that his illness doesn’t give him the right to be a whore or treat me or others like trash.

So moving forward, I will no longer listen to, “get out of your head,” “I need time,” “don’t take it personally”. I now view that as euphemisms for don’t pay attention to my need to be devious or deceitful. Good luck with your bf.

 

[Justmehere]

My ex broke up with me and said he needed time. Like you, I’m thinking for what? I got my answer today. He ran back to his ex, and he was also seeing other people.

I’ve read that his illness doesn’t give him the right to be a whore...

It’s normal to see other people after breaking up with someone. It does not make one a whore.

But if realizing that he’s seeing other people now helps you accept the breakup and move on, that’s awesome!

There is a point at which it’s time to walk away, and find someone who is a better fit as a partner.

 

[Deleted member 44240]

It’s normal to see other people after breaking up with someone. It does not make one a whore....

For the record, he was seeing other people while we were together. So what does that make him?

Again, for those who are looking to twist the knife I already have in my heart, please respect me by not posting anything to dive your point home.