Saw specialist on Thursday, to say it was torture, anxiety and flashback inducing is an understatement!! :(
1st of all I was called into the room, then left on my own for a good 5 mins whilst a bundle of anxiety. She then came in and took a brief history - she was rather rude when she found out I'd 'only' had issues for 3 months and was then rude again when she asked what medication I'm on, eventhough she had a list in front of her and I said quetiapine instead of lamotrigine... *sigh*
She then felt my abdomen and despite making me cry, she said nothing was wrong :( she then made me lie on my side and came at me from behind, which is a major flashback trigger, and literally shoved her finger up my bum with no warning. It hurt like hell, so much so I dug my nails into my hand... :( She then said she was going to put a device inside, but didn't let me see what it was like/let me know it was significantly larger. Again, the pain was unbearable, and induced a flashback,there and then. She'd told me we could stop at any point, but despite saying 'I can't do it' she carried on and didn't stop :'( = made flashback stronger. After she'd finished it took a good 10mins for me to ground myself and be in a place to talk (& I hAd much worse flashbacks that night when I got home)
She wants me to have an MRI done & film me pooing (yuck!) but said she couldn't see anything. All very strange when GP looked up the vagina and she only looked up the back passage.... Sigh...
Both her and GP have been very dismissive about pain relief. It's apparently acceptable for me to be in so much pain constantly everyday, that's effecting my everyday life.... :( GP said today that there isn't any that won't exacerbate the problem, either making my stools looser or harder, or making my acid reflux worse :( So frustrating! The only relief I get is a bath and still that only helps a little.... :(