Sufferer Combat Ptsd = Forever Alone

[The Hermit King]

I know the title I used sounds depressing but that's because it is depressing. I am a 31 year old US Army OIF veteran.

I recently got dumped by my girlfriend of three years. Her reasons for having to end it were ALL PTSD related. I am anti-social, I wasn't close with her friends, I wasn't close with her kids or her family. I don't like having company over to the house. And for the last year I wasn't affectionate enough and I guess that's what finally did our relationship in.

I had no idea she was feeling so sad for a whole freaking year! It completely crushed me when she said she couldn't do this anymore. I am under the opinion now that there is not a woman on earth that would knowingly get into a relationship with a veteran that suffers from PTSD and I really feel like I will be forever alone.

I just don't want to start all over again. I took care of her for three years, she never had to pay a single bill and had the freedom to go and do whatever she wanted to, but she needs someone who is not just affectionate but overly affectionate, she has her own issues too.

I am loyal and protective and I know how to take good care of a woman but by the time I knew how big of a deal the whole lovey dovey thing was for her it was too late and she no longer wanted to try.

Anyway I was trying to keep this intro short. I also use the combat PTSD forum sometimes but I found that I get more insight and help personally from hearing the thoughts and experiences of the supporters. Anyway I am a ghost on that forum so maybe I will be less of one on this one.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

Welcome to the forum. :)

This is a very active forum so I hope you join in here! :) There is a wonderful chit-chat section so you can join in there, lots of fun.

Hang in there and take care.

 

[KP the nut]

Hi and welcome to the forum.

Being 'a ghost' is fine, but it is fun to join in as well.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Hi and welcome. It is nice to meet you.

 

[intothelight]

Welcome to the PTSD Forum! :)

 

[JustBe]

Welcome! :)

 

[a3a2]

Hi, Chemlight. I am really sorry to hear of your struggle, but I am glad you are here on the forum. It is a good place to start.

I wish your gf would have talked to you about things earlier, instead of expecting you to read her mind. This, I've found tends to be a female expectation..."he should know what I want!". I wish she had talked to you about seeking treatment for your ptsd. I suspect she didn't know much about ptsd.

Chemlight, you can get better....perhaps not "healed", but better. I hope you will seek help here, but in therapy as well. For me, it has been a life saver.

Welcome to the forum.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I am under the opinion now that there is not a woman on earth that would knowingly get into a relationship with a veteran that suffers from PTSD and I really feel like I will be forever alone.

Change that to "I am under the opinion now that there is not a man on earth that would knowingly get into a relationship with a woman who suffers from PTSD from childhood trauma and I really feel like I will be forever alone" and you have me. Well, some of the time. (Right now I'm on an upswing so I'm feeling a bit more optimistic.)

You're a couple of years younger than me, so about the same age-ish. No, you're not old. No, this isn't the end all and be all of what your relationships will be like for life. Of course it hurts right now because you were blindsided by someone who couldn't even communicate to you how she was feeling. That's a big problem, and not on your side. No, I'm not saying you're totally innocent, but when someone can't even communicate their needs until it's too late, that is a big deal. So what I'm saying is that it's not ALL your fault. Yes, we are a bit more to deal with than the average person, but I believe that we are all special and deserve to be loved by someone who is going to love us faults and all, and that means being to work on things and communicate *together*. She didn't have the co-operative piece of what I think is crucial in a relationship dealing with PTSD. Ok, so now I'm rambling...

I totally get what you're saying when you mention that you don't like having people over to the house. My social time is away from my home, my home is my escape from the world where I can feel safe around the people whom I trust. And i don't think you're anti-social simply because you have different social needs than your ex. We all have different social needs. I got sick of apologizing for not being a social butterfly like my little sister. Its hard for some people to understand that some of us really do enjoy time by ourselves.

Anyway, it hurts now, but things will get better. (I think I'll stop now before slipping deep into platitudes or cliches, lol)

 

[ms spock]

Welcome to the Forum Chemlight!

A break up is tough business - PTSD or no PTSD!
I wish you well!

 

[Anna]

Welcome to the forum :)

 

[The Hermit King]

My social time is away from my home, my home is my escape from the world where I can feel safe around the people whom I trust.

This is exactly how I feel too. I just never knew how to explain it. Wow. Thank you, and thank everyone for the warm welcome.

 

[The Hermit King]

Sorry I did the quote thing wrong, It was supposed to say I was quoting scaredandlonely. :grumpy: