Confused With Therapy

[Elphaba]

Hi,
I am confused with therapy and the "results" of my last therapy sessions. Thought maybe someone more experienced would be able to give their views...

I am currently seeing a therapist for a short interim period. Because it is only temporary that I am seeing the T, and because I am new to therapy, I have been very focused on the trauma I am going to treatment for. We have tried EMDR a few times, but after the last time we tried that, some old memories and feelings came up that went way back, a lot further back than the trauma that made me seek help in the first place. This really confused me.

I told my T in the following session and was I told I should have mentioned these things earlier when asked about my childhood, but I have never considered my childhood to be abnormal and it wasn't any experience from there that made me seek help in the first place. We didn't do any EMDR during that session, and the session was also cut 10 minutes short.

I am confused both with the old memories resurfacing, and the response from the therapist with cutting the session short etc.

-E

 

[Deleted member 541]

They are most likely repressed memories. This happens in many people. Sometimes for some people the memory comes back, and with others it doesn't. Just deal with what you DO remember, including the new memories that have surfaced. Don't try to force anything else out, they will come out when they want....

 

[krillco]

Here is another perspective: the idea of 'repressed' memory has gotten many meanings in the wider popular culture. It may, in fact, be a misnomer in that 'repressing' sounds a bit like a person has actively and consciously done something to push the memory aside. There are studies that suggest that memory, under traumatic situations, does not 'record' very well at all. This is because your brain is busy working on survival of the traumatic situation, not studying details. Some portions of the critical incident may never have been 'recorded' in memory. The danger in (some) kinds of therapy or with (some) therapists who press and insist on 'recovering' memories of the trauma is that memories can be easily implanted and elaborated upon with confabulation when emotion is high for the patient, and the therapist's ego gets swollen.

You might also think of memories as 'chains'. Early in psychology, Freud discovered the idea of 'free association'; one word suggesting another, and so on, often with amusing or surprising results...apparently discordant words get connected. This is also the way memory can work as well.

As for the ten minute reduction of the session: this could been die to unrelated issues all together...I have a habit of drinking lots of water, and on occasion, nature's call becomes rather insistent!

 

[Elphaba]

Thanks for your opinion and feedback.

I left the therapist thinking that maybe these resurfaced memories meant that I didn't have ptsd after all (I got the diagnose about 3 week ago) and that I had got the wrong diagnose or something, and I was thinking "well, then what do I do to sort myself out?" but from your feedback I reckon that it might be pretty normal.

 

[kers]

You might also think of memories as 'chains'.

I think this is very representative of the experience of many folks here. Often once we begin talking about a recent trauma, it's like the floodgates open and other traumas come to the surface, things we thought we resolved long ago but which we only shoved away from awareness. For example, I sought therapy for a specific issue, but after discussing my childhood, briefly, in one session, it triggered a lot of intrusive memories and flashbacks. Therapy brings up all sorts of things (even for non-PTSDers). Generally, go with it--it is coming up for a reason.

You are on the right track.

 

[Elphaba]

A few week later, the confusion is still there. But I am changing from my "interim therapist" to another one this week. I dread it, in a way. I feel I'll have to go through the whole thing again.

I am not actually sure whether it is a result of therapy or not, but I notice i get absorbed into these really strong emotions. It is like there are the flashbacks i "know" and then there are this physical response my body throws itself into and where i cannot see or feel clearly where the anxiety/anger/depression comes from. In a way it is worse as i don't know why I feel like I do.

 

[Deleted member 5760]

The change of T could be a good thing Elphaba. I suppose you wont know until you try some sessions with them. From my experience - if you don't find a rapport with a T then change. And keep changing until you do find the one you 'click' with. It's worth it. The memory thing is common. Once I started talking about my major trauma things from literally decades ago started to pop into my mind. But my T explained to me that this was actually healthy. Not neccesaily easy for the moment, but healthy. It's almost like once you expose your brain to trauma therapy it starts to learn how to deal with and process that trauma. So it's like a sign of your brain saying 'ok, we're learning to process trauma so I'll reveal a bit of it at a time and let it surface so it can be dealt with. I'm ok to remember this and process it'. Good luck and stick with it.

-Jen

 

[Elphaba]

Thanks Jen, that's really encouraging!

I saw the new therapist on Friday. I notice starting again from scratch is exhausting, but I am definitely not giving up yet - will give it a few more times before deciding.

 

[Artista]

Sounds normal to me too! I had originally gone to therapy for my most recent trauma and didn't even think to mention my childhood incidents for some time. Just didn't seem as important! I hadn't repressed them but HAD repressed the more recent one and felt that was the one to "blame" so I took some time to see the correlations between the two.

I am pretty new to therapy too. It can be confusing how it all unfolds. I wish you the best. Keep at it. I think the more we are aware of the better we can react.