Couples Therapy

[serenity55]

I had my first couples counseling session yesterday. I found it extremely triggering and felt very unsafe and pretty closed off and a bit dissociative. She is a trauma therapist and highly recommended but she kept asking me about how I was doing and what I was feeling. I struggle with sharing my feelings and trust and found it very jarring and intrusive. Anyone else find that couples counseling feels especially traumatic?

 

[Hashi]

Hi Serenity,

I'm afraid I've got no experience of couples counselling but I wanted to offer some support. Therapy is always tough.

Were you able to tell her you felt uncomfortable with all the questions, or would you feel able to say that next time?

 

[serenity55]

Actually really struggle with sharing my boundaries, but its a good idea and I will try. I was amazed at how unsafe and tramatic it felt.

 

[greenleaf]

I have skills involved with acting "normal" and not showing that I feel unsafe; this was an early skill to help against a family member who would use such vulnerabilities against me. Do you feel anything like that? If dissociating is a way of hiding, then being asked to not hide with someone who you've just met, does sound triggering! Surely the therapist could understand that and adjust? They don't always read our expressions perfectly, I've found, esp. when I'm trying very hard not to let them... oddly enough... :ninja:

 

[EvenStrongerNow]

Yes, I experienced this too. Thankfully my husband understands and we were able to work out our issue after just one session and done some work together. We realized that communication was paramount and we were able to work things out by reading books together about relationships.

 

[serenity55]

@ greenleaf I have the acting normal thing too. It is especially hard to show that I am unsafe. I really want to work on my marriage and I think we need some professional assistance but this was really hard. I guess I need to find some way to express my level of fear and trigger at the last session. My individual therapist is very attune and has always been very cautious of slow moving around these issues and anything potentially triggering even before I really opened up to her.

Wondering if its just different personalities or styles of counseling or if marital counseling is more this way?

Glad to hear I am not the only one freaking out after a session.