Depression Over Employment Opportunity

[VioletButterfly]

Mod - I put this first in employment, but it seems more about depression so I moved it. If you need to move it back, please do.

Can someone please explain what the heck might be going on in my mind?! I took a temp to perm job yesterday as I have had no offers all summer and money is slim to none. I felt like I didn't have a choice. That might be part of the depression I feel. It's not the job I wanted, but I'm not even sure I know what I want or am capable of doing anymore. Plus, with this, I have no benefits for at least 3 months and I didn't even ask what they might entail once I'm hired on permanent if they keep me, nor did I ask about salary. So unlike me. Then again, I feel so unlike me. I can tell I'm dragging down under the wheels of the depression/PTSD/anxiety bus. Too much stress for too long and now this? Is this just another wait and see? I'm so exhausted from living a life in flux due to employment/financials and this horrid mental health cement block around my neck that has resulted in real physical complications. Sorry to rant, but does anyone have any insights? I'm trying to reframe this so that I can have a more positive attitude. I need the money, so I'm keeping the job for now. I can still keep looking, it just makes it awkward to take off for interviews. Ugh, so much uncertainty! How do you all manage it all? VB

 

[Eagle3]

Wish I could help you, but I'm in the same boat. Except I can't even do temp work. Right now I'm having to concentrate on assessments and therapy, hoping DARS will come through in time, but I'm down to just a month and a half of cash reserves. REALLY freaking out about that! I keep looking for work I can actually do that won't put me in an even worse position than I am now, but i just can't find it. Hope we BOTH find something that makes the path clearer! Just hang in there and do what you have to do, taking it one day at a time. Remember, at least you HAVE work, that's something good!

 

[ladee]

It's hard to be grateful when we are so stressed out.
This is a stupid comparison, but hope it lets you know there is irony and humor in life no matter how hard it gets.
Tomorrow is my payday. I am very far behind in rent and of course that makes my stress cup full.
I counted out my change this morning to get some green tea. Not a necessity by any means but got it in my head I HAD to have some. NOW!
Got to the store and was still 3 cents short. Getting anxious now and starting to work myself up. All the 'why me' stuff with a little self pity thrown in. I finally asked a stranger for the 3 cents.
Grab my tea and can't wait to get home. Pour myself a big glass like I had been stranded on the desert. I brought home DIET tea! I hate DIET tea.
Im sure there is a moral to this story somewhere. All I know is I knew what I wanted and still ended up with something else.
I am stuck with temporary tea. Not what I wanted, but will make do until I get what I want.
You have a job and I have tea. We don't know what tomorrow will bring. So hoping we both get what we want, and soon!

 

[trying2movefwd]

My T is having me complete an employment asesment test as I get to know myself better. For now though my doctor has me off work as I am not stable enough to handle it. Perhaps taking to a T or the psychiatrist about the specifics of your "mental cement block would be helpful to you. Obviously if you need the income keep working until something changes for you job wise. Hope this is helpful.

 

[VioletButterfly]

Thank you to all of you for replying. I hear you - hang tough, make due, hold onto hope, and stand in today. I think I'm kind of in denial today. I don't feel well and need to fight with an insurance company so that's not helping, but well, that's life and we all have to do that kind of stuff from time to time. VB