Friday
Sponsor
@Carl Giller
Hey... I stayed married to a man who would drug me & rape me... & threw birthday parties for him, picked up his drycleaning, wore the right clothes and said the right things to his coworkers at company functions, ate breakfast with him, traded cars with him, argued over towels left on the floor, held him, cheered for him, slept with him. Shrug. That's the thing about abusive relationships. They're relationships. The vast majority of which are completely normal ongoing life stuff.
Unravelling what's abuse & what's normal... Both with them & everyone who follows them? Can get murky/confusing/frustrating as hell. Boundaries have been pushed so far beyond normal, and normal is so...normal...that events like rape? Physical abuse? Seriously over the f*cking line behavior? Are just...normal. Even though they're not. They're sandwiched in between everything else that is. And it can take some real time and distance to really be able to wrap your mind around...whoa. That was really f*cked up, wasn't it? But getting that time and distance? Not an easy thing. For many reasons. Staying friends, partners, married to ones abuser is hardly strange. Sadly.
Hey... I stayed married to a man who would drug me & rape me... & threw birthday parties for him, picked up his drycleaning, wore the right clothes and said the right things to his coworkers at company functions, ate breakfast with him, traded cars with him, argued over towels left on the floor, held him, cheered for him, slept with him. Shrug. That's the thing about abusive relationships. They're relationships. The vast majority of which are completely normal ongoing life stuff.
Unravelling what's abuse & what's normal... Both with them & everyone who follows them? Can get murky/confusing/frustrating as hell. Boundaries have been pushed so far beyond normal, and normal is so...normal...that events like rape? Physical abuse? Seriously over the f*cking line behavior? Are just...normal. Even though they're not. They're sandwiched in between everything else that is. And it can take some real time and distance to really be able to wrap your mind around...whoa. That was really f*cked up, wasn't it? But getting that time and distance? Not an easy thing. For many reasons. Staying friends, partners, married to ones abuser is hardly strange. Sadly.
