8888
Diamond Member
I haven't yet but I hope to one day. Abuser is dead but would like to report anyway so its on file. Plus I think someone may have known and covered it up in which case I want them to know how wrong that is. I'm not a veteran.
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Poll Did You Report
- Post starter Whyteferret
- Start date
- Status
desiderata310
VIP Member
Well, yes and no.
SO much happened as a minor that I can't really remember it all so ... NO. I was beholden to these people for survival (so I felt at the time) and just kept quiet and kept away. Now, 30+ years later? Shit, statutes of limitations are up and those involved dead or dying. Not much to report.
As an adult?
That was a yes and no.
I'm still confused about what happened and why and what wasn't consensual and what became non-consensual and who the hell can even prove that anyway when it's your spouse?
The one time I went to the courts when it was all VERY new, I was questioned very hard by the file clerk. Did I go to the police? Why not? Did I take pictures? Go to the ER? He said the judge would throw out the case and I wouldn't get a restraining order. I remember leaving and thinking that it would just be easier to kill myself right then because it was likely that he was going to continue to stalk and eventually he would get at me again and maybe this time he really WOULD kill me.
Fast forward a couple of years and I started therapy and my therapist talked me into getting a restraining order so he would leave me alone. (I had full-blown-holy-shit-symptomatic PTSD by then and was almost completely nonfunctional- even more than now) It was reported in the documents turned over to the courts by the domestic violence folks who took the report. It was painful. It didn't even talk about everything. It skimmed the surface. He denied everything, said I wanted it (in court) and the only thing that shut him up was the testimony of my therapist. He asked my therapist if it could be that I was f*cked up and confused because of the childhood stuff and my therapist came back and said No, it's my professional opinion that it's because of YOU and what YOU did.
I got my restraining order and it's now good for my entire life. BUT it was never reported to the police as a crime.
SO much happened as a minor that I can't really remember it all so ... NO. I was beholden to these people for survival (so I felt at the time) and just kept quiet and kept away. Now, 30+ years later? Shit, statutes of limitations are up and those involved dead or dying. Not much to report.
As an adult?
That was a yes and no.
I'm still confused about what happened and why and what wasn't consensual and what became non-consensual and who the hell can even prove that anyway when it's your spouse?
The one time I went to the courts when it was all VERY new, I was questioned very hard by the file clerk. Did I go to the police? Why not? Did I take pictures? Go to the ER? He said the judge would throw out the case and I wouldn't get a restraining order. I remember leaving and thinking that it would just be easier to kill myself right then because it was likely that he was going to continue to stalk and eventually he would get at me again and maybe this time he really WOULD kill me.
Fast forward a couple of years and I started therapy and my therapist talked me into getting a restraining order so he would leave me alone. (I had full-blown-holy-shit-symptomatic PTSD by then and was almost completely nonfunctional- even more than now) It was reported in the documents turned over to the courts by the domestic violence folks who took the report. It was painful. It didn't even talk about everything. It skimmed the surface. He denied everything, said I wanted it (in court) and the only thing that shut him up was the testimony of my therapist. He asked my therapist if it could be that I was f*cked up and confused because of the childhood stuff and my therapist came back and said No, it's my professional opinion that it's because of YOU and what YOU did.
I got my restraining order and it's now good for my entire life. BUT it was never reported to the police as a crime.
recoveringfromptsd
Diamond Member
In my case there is no statute of limitations, and the abuses are felonies, but there is no chance 30 years later anything will be done. Some of those who could be held responsible are probably dead, or close to it.
physicist13
Silver Member
I reported because my best friend encouraged me to. We went to the hospital, I got a kit done, and I did an interview with the police.
This lead to a bunch of other shit that I'm not going to go into right now-- anyways, I regret it. Nothing came of it even though I did the kit, had a picture of the person, was 16, and was not at all under the influence or breaking any laws when it happened.
All I learned from it is just how broken the system is
This lead to a bunch of other shit that I'm not going to go into right now-- anyways, I regret it. Nothing came of it even though I did the kit, had a picture of the person, was 16, and was not at all under the influence or breaking any laws when it happened.
All I learned from it is just how broken the system is
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