Dissassociation Prevents Me From Joining New Things

[Overwhelmed]

Disassociation has been a big problem my whole life thanks to my upbringing. I have blanked off so many times that it has been hard to keep track of the amount. My dad said that I was “unconscious” because I felt so uncomfortable around him. I would stare off into the corner of the room and he would ridicule me for not making eye contact with him. I have disassociated at school because of having a social phobia and feeling intimated by other kids. I disassociate when someone teaches me something. The person teaching me thinks I’m stupid because I am not picking up what they are going on about. I am frightened to start new things are join things because of this thing that drives me crazy. Does anyone else suffer with this? Thanks for listening.

 

[Ted Moen]

In a hostile environment some of us learn to disassociate as a means of coping. Then once we are no longer in the hostile environment, some of us continue to disassociate to avoid situations that feel uncomfortable. That is a choice we make, although without significant therapeutic support it may not feel like a choice. The counter to continuing to disassociate is to practice keeping yourself grounded and talking (self-talk) yourself through meeting your current objectives in your current situation.

Ted

 

[RosieNorth]

Hi Overwhelmed, The way that you describe your experiences sounds like the story of my life. I especially have that same problem with teachers. The times when I can "snap out of it" and come back to reality are the times when I can leave the anxiety behind. It seems to be all related to fear and anxiety.
Best wishes and I hope you can find a way to happiness in your life!

 

[Overwhelmed]

Thank you RosieNorth for reaching out. Things do get better when I stay away from certain triggers. I wish you well!

 

[maddog]

One of the really tough things about PTSD is that its symptoms, by their very nature, make it extremely difficult to engage in normal activities and to feel confident and competent in doing so. Dissociation, flashbacks, hypervigilance, anxiety, depression, emotional disregulation, volatility and countless others can all feel similarly dabilitating at times, and all require a degree of self awareness, a lot of work and good targeted trauma therapy to truly overcome.

Overwhelmed, I truly know how, well, "overwhelming" it can all feel. Hope you have a good T and some healthy supports around you to help you work through this.

Maddog

 

[want2cope]

Oh yeah, I do that a lot. It's like I space out or something. Other people don't get it, and that's ok with me. I am glad if others have not suffered through something so horrible that it consumes them this way. I read a book that is very good dealing with this that may help. It helped me. It is called the power of now. Just so you know you are not alone, much love and peace to you.