Poll Do You Ever Get Upset At How Quickly You Were Forced To Adapt To Your Ptsd Self?

[snappy_turtle]

This topic came up during a discussion with a friend. I was asked if I ever get upset over how much I was forced to grow and change due to my trauma. My answer was no, although I am sure it may be a topic of controversy for others.

This question can be whether you get upset over how much you were/are forced to grow/change to deal with or overcome your trauma, psychologically. It is not asking whether or not you get upset at your PTSD symptoms (i.e. hypervigilance, nightmares, sleeplessness, anxiety, etc.) as I am sure it would be difficult to find someone grateful for their trauma symptoms.

 

[Phenioxrising]

I think it's better to accept things the way they are. You can't change the past but you can change the future.

 

[Venusian]

I have been thinking about this a lot the past couple of months. I have no idea who I would have been if the trauma did not happen, there was no "before", I was 5 when it happened. I hate that all this time later I still have to learn how to live with the consequences, both physical and mental. If it was an accident I think I would be better at accepting it but because someone planned what they did to me, that is harder to accept.

 

[Abstract]

how much you were/are forced to grow/change to deal with or overcome your trauma

Could you give an example snappy turtle? I a not sure I understand. Thanks.

 

[Phenioxrising]

It's good to get validated for your trauma(s), someone who cares

 

[KrispyKreme]

I sometimes get upset that there are people in my life who only know me this way, they do not know who I was before.
But I am not upset that I was forced to change, part of life is changing and becoming better people and it is my hope that I will become a better person through my experiences.

 

[ashdawn8287]

I was actually relieved when I found out I had PTSD. I struggled with it since I could remember and was misdiagnosed. I have gotten to know myself pretty well over the years. I was relieved because I was familiar with PTSD and the steps to take towards recovery. Those steps were challenging yes, but I now know what my therapist met when she said at our first meeting, "You will never be the same as you were before the traumas, but the good thing is that you can be even better than you were before."

I have made it to the point where I absolutely know I am better than before the traumas. It is a learning experience. What you do with it is up to you, I tried making the most out of it.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I said no. I never had a pre-trauma time so there was no anger over having to adapt. It was what it was, and I had to deal with it. I had nothing to compare it to.

 

[snappy_turtle]

Could you give an example snappy turtle? I a not sure I understand. Thanks.

Hi Abstract!
As an example, it could mean your sense of awareness of yourself, and your anxiety.

For example, when I was first diagnosed with PTSD, I was very hypervigilant and went from 0 to 60 in a matter of seconds into complete rage over something that didn't matter at all.

Now, I am able to sense my frustration and anger in my body by being mindful and am able to catch it before I start to get hypervigilant. I am now able to prevent myself from getting upset over something that doesn't matter because I've had to learn how to let little things go. Before I had PTSD, I was not able to do that. Even though before I had PTSD I was not hypervigilant, I did have issues with controlling my anger, anxiety and emotions as anyone my age who hasn't suffered from PTSD would.

 

[twopenny]

I had to say no, never, because I never had an adult self without being traumatised. I don't know who I would have been without trauma. It's part of who I am, so there has never been any adaptation of any kind for me.

 

[Abstract]

Thanks Snappy Turtle.

I guess my brain is spinning as I have not ever easily adapted to my PTSD self. I have no idea when my first symptoms started. I don't remember a time where there were no symptoms at a guess (huge gaps and no self awareness until recently) and I still spend a lot of my time thinking I don't have PTSD or trauma.

I have of course adapted to symptoms and work hard at dealing with them but acceptance of the bigger picture? Nada. I always accepted everything as if it was nothing and had no self awareness of it.

So do I get upset at how quickly I have adapted? No I have not adapted so can't get upset at how quickly I have done so. Still keep thinking I must be missing something. :confused::banghead:

 

[maddog]

I'm not sure I have my thick head around the question either to be honest. Perhaps that tells me I haven't adapted...

I have been different and dysfunctional, to varying degrees, for my entire life, particularly in the realms of personality and interpersonal relations. I always vaguely knew why, but was mostly asymptomatic and deep in rigid denial about ever needing to deal with my past.

I had the first of several breakdowns more than 3 years ago now, and since then, the progression of symptoms and acceptance and learning to live with them has been ongoing and not something I have really thought about in the way I think you mean. I resent and struggle to accept what I have lost and how unwell I have become, and I worry for the future and the prospect of being any different, but mostly I just try to deal with my life and my symptoms as best I can. And hope. I try to hope.
Maddog