Relationship Does Anyone Here Live Apart From Their Ptsd Sufferer?

[Sunshine71]

Hi all

Does anyone here live apart from their PTSD sufferer?

Hubby has been saying for a while that he wants to do this as he feels he while have quiet space and can come back to us feeling better.

He is renting an office/ studio space so he can focus on his business (well get it off of the ground) but just doesn't seem to go there. I was hoping this would give him some space however he wants to sleep elsewhere too.

It makes sense to me and maybe this will break the pattern of waking up and seeing me as the nightmare vision of what happened 20 years ago - I wondered if anyone else has lived apart and if it did help??

Thanks amazing people.

Sunshine xx

 

[Deleted member 20280]

Sunshine,

I am a sufferer forced to be apart from my family. I had anger against them and hate for them when I was forced to go. Now weeks later I have no malice at all. I have faced my pain and terror alone. Coming here to this forum for insight and acceptance of my condition.

Your partner needs to know that theirs demons are Very real and with strength they can face them and stand strong.

As diagnosed Victim of this disease, just like cancer it can kill a man or woman just the same. PTSD is "NOT" a diease to be laughed at or simplified as simple mental health. It owns vary real ans dangerous battle found that we allncan face.

Sunshine my love ans hugs to you for being strong l.

Laurie Davey aged 42 abused as a child but facing his demons head on now x x

 

[Sunshine71]

Thank you so much for sharing Laurie and I am so happy to read the strength in your reply. You sound amazing and I wish you all the very best too. I wondered if you plan to go back - maybe gradually? Hubby seems to be OK at the moment. I had time out with my son and feel a bit better now too.

Sending you love and positive vibes too Laurie.

Sunshine (Also 42 and a 1971 person!)

xxxx

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

Sunshine, I moved your thread into the supporter forum as it was in the wrong forum. Please be more mindful in the future.

 

[MoeX]

My sufferer and I have been living apart and technically split up for almost three months. For me it is really hard as he tends to isolate so I spend a lot of time wondering if he is okay. A lot ot time I have no idea what is going on with us.

On the other hand this break have given me some time to focus on me and I am not consumed with his needs all the time. I have lost wait and am enjoying doing things with my children that before I didnt even think of doing.

Only time will tell how this will turn out and right now it is hard but I am just trying to roll with it.

 

[kacee129]

My sufferer (boyfriend) moved back to Vegas after I could no longer deal with his outbursts and anger. I was sad to see him go but relieved at the same time. Since then he calls me sometimes 10 or more times a day. More times than not he is having a bad day and tells me all about it. He has asked if he can come "home". My response to that is he needs to at least try to get some help instead of always saying he has more important things to worry about.

Yesterday I had a very stressful day. I tried telling him about it but he told me he can't deal with that. And continued to tell me all that was wrong in his world. More of the same today. I don't know why but I was feeling really down today and I just didn't want to hear about "him".

He must have sensed I wasn't my usual happy joyful self. (Its usually a false front I put on). I can't remember exactly what was said but he made a comment about if I was going to be "mad" at him he would just call tomorrow. I hung up. Yes I was mad. But I was also feeling sorry for myself. I ended up texting him asking when it was going to be my turn to have someone ask how I am, and to take care of me. That didn't go over well either.

At this point there has been no more communication today. I miss him terribly, but I think maybe this happened to open my eyes again to the fact that we can't have a normal relationship. I was almost ready to tell him to come home.

Is his self centeredness part of PTSD? And would it be OK to just tell him point blank that if he wants me he has to seek treatment and if not I am done with this long distance one sided relationship. Any suggestions?

 

[Sunshine71]

A good point of view thanks Kacee129 - I do also feel that PTSD can make people selfish - well thinking about my hubby anyway.

He seems to resort back to being a child at times and gets angry if he doesn't get his own way. I too cant really tell hubby much as it makes him stressed. I feel happy when we are not together and I know he feels less pressure too. It is very sad as we do love each other - having PTSD is like having 3 people in the relationship!!

I do hope things are working out for you Kacee129 - I too put on a brave face and it is very tiring...

Sunshine xx

 

[Sunshine71]

Hi all

Well we are back from our first holiday in 8 years - with family too.

It didn't bring us closer together as I hoped - Hubby had a good time but not really with me or our son.

Today he is going to the job centre to see about them supplying some kind of accommodation so he can live separately for a while and see if this help him.

Most PTSD sufferers need peace and quiet and with a 7 year old this never happens at home (!) :O(

He may stay with a friend for a week or so and has even been looking into renting - this does annoy me as he lives in bl@@dy fairyland - I am the only one working trying to keep our heads above water again and we just dont have the money.

Anyway lets see what happens - I know he is doing this to save our marriage however PTSD could be breaking up a former very happy couple who have been together for over 23 years since they were 18 :O(

OK breathe again Sunshine and must crack on with work!!!

Love Sunshine xx

 

[Lost Again]

Hi Sunshine,

Just wondering if your hubby is thinking about living full time at his new place or could just use this new location to get away when necessary?