Dont Know Why I Try Anymore

[anonymous]

I try to give as many as I can the most advise i have and if I can't but can understand and relate I try to advise that they arent alone and why (why so its not an empty "i understand") but apparently I hurt people and piss people off.

Im done! People say they are there for you and it's all a f*cking lie as the first time you f*ck up then they are gone. I am human, I do make mistakes too and I am also hurting as well but I push my hurts aside to hear the hurts of others but none of that matters. Im not even given the chance to appologize and explain?

People are all f*cking alike in my world and Im done fighting. Im just so f*cking tired. Why fight when in the end Im going to be 100% completely f*cking alone although Id give anything I could to help anyone?

Im just so f*cking tired! I have issues too, I have severe Mother's Day issues too, I have feelings too but apparently they dont matter. My mistakes, that's all that matters.

I don't even know why Im posting anonymously as its obvious whom I am and I couldnt care less.

 

[ladee]

You know that when you calm down..... that everything is all or nothing right now... you have come to far to let one statement blow all you have worked for..and it was a simple request... Nothing more or nothing less.... BREATHE !!!

 

[anonymous]

It was the person retracting themselves from me, a statement was all that was public.

Just going to keep people at an arms distance from now on.

Yes im spinning right now but that doesnt stop the pain that i feel. My family, any "friends", everyone i reached out to online, here....why try to let people in? They are hurting but goddammit, so am I!

 

[Deleted member 20280]

We all have times when we wonder "Why" I know I do. I offer my help and advice to any and everyone who wants it. I have had that offer thrown back in my face many a time in the past.

I simply have the attitude now that i can offer to help people but i simply cannot make then accept that offer of help. Quite simply like the old adage of "You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink"

 

[ladee]

And we all understand that... you didn't post today about anything going on with you about Mother's Day... you know we would have supported any pain you were in !! We always have and we always will... so, we get rejected sometimes... it's life and it hurts our feelings.... but going all the way to keeping everyone at arms length... tho that is your right, what would it accomplish when it was just one person who hurt your feelings...and you know you can ask Admin for a conversation with all three of you....or any number of ways you can handle this with out going all the way back to day one !!!
I get my feelings hurt here sometimes.... sorry, we don't get thru this life without someone hurting our feelings... it's what you want to do from here... and you know all of this was said with love... and support.

 

[shimmerz]

Your worth is NOT dependent on other's reactions to you. Not now that you can make choices about that anyways. That was one of the lies you were forced to buy into when you were a child I expect. It doesn't apply anymore.

 

[anonymous]

@ladee Its not about hurt feelings, at all. Its about being vulernable for the first time and feeling i had a friend to get that retracted because i dare to back up an "i understand" with why i understand so that "i understand" isnt hollow, so they get that i actually do understand. Aparently I hurt someone but before i could appologize and explain they are gone.

@shimmerz i honestly cant tell you what my "worth" is. I really dont know. Its apparently not enough for family nor is it enough for a friend. That, though, I will need to come back to when not spinning.

 

[shimmerz]

i honestly cant tell you what my "worth" is

I can't tell you what my worth is either at this stage of the game anonymous, but what I have learned is that it is NOT what others say it is (or is not). I learned to think that in order to survive early in life, but it isn't true.

 

[ladee]

There is an interesting paradox about vulnerability........ the more vulnerable you become, the less vulnerable you are... because with getting vulnerable, no matter the situation... we are going to get hurt...but we learn a little each time. How to be more discerning with people...
And I am calling you on it not being about hurt feelings.... and please keep in mind, that you posted and left it open to comment... All I am saying, and when you calm down, you will see, that I am saying you went to All or Nothing in record speed... that's all I hope you look at... we shared that we are working on Cognitive Distortions.. well, this is an opportunity.. just as I will have here also...
So hope you get calm and stop spinning. You know I care or I wouldn't have posted.... sending you gentle hugs.

 

[mary1979]

This particular issue is about the other person, not you.

You are choosing to take it personally, and that is fair.
I understand your way of talking, and so I think does this other person, I just think there are times when their personal feelings mean they are unable to over look your little quirks.
At their most vulnerable they can only see their own pain, as you are now, and that is also fair.

Its not the end of the world, just a misunderstanding.
Learn about the other person from this, and yourself.

Sometimes others just want to be heard.
And sometimes, your way of empathising is mistaken as drawing attention to yourself, and away from the other person (I know thats not the case, just how someone in a bad state themselves may view it)

You are fine x

 

[Sideways]

We see someone struggling with something we relate to, so we reach out. Sometimes it clicks, sometimes it doesn't.

We've all been on both the giving and receiving end of that situation. It doesn't mean anything than more than we are all human, we are all struggling, and sometimes it doesn't click.

You are appreciated here. Your contributions are appreciated. Take that or leave it - maybe this post will click for you, maybe it won't. That's being human. And it's okay.

 

[anonymous]

@mary1979 you are correct, that is totally not the case, i couldnt care if i had one lick of attention, i dont want a statment "i understand" to be empty because it often is, many people say it and I just want to scream back "no you dont understand, how could you possibly understand?" So i advise how i understand. AND I DID, TOTALLY.

I reluctly trusted, I reluctly became vulernable and it blew up in my face. So even if the person were to message me now, or even when i calmed down, I have no idea how Id react because Im now Im terrified to allow myself to do that again. If they would of talked with me or even said just "you hurt me" then i could of appologized and explained what I meant but it was just ripped from me, or thats how it feels. Over a f*cking miss understanding!