Easier

[brandy faye novak]

When you know it is best that it is over but you still care so deeply for the person is there a time when you stop obsessing about it? I mean I know logically I will move on but it seems so much different then other heart break because you allow yourself to let the PTSD be an excuse for all behavior. I know the longer I have myself in the situation the deeper the pain will be each time he isolates me. I just worry about him so much and I feel as though he is making choices that are not going to help him progress. He was offered a job as a contractor for a year in Afghan and he said he was going to turn it down because he knew it was not the best thing for him mentally. We had long dicussions as to why it was just not a good Idea for obvious reasons. He went into to isolation on me the same week he was supposed to turn down the job and when I asked him how the call when with the recruiter he never answered me. I truly believe he took the job and does not know how to tell me so he shut me out. I know this is un healthy for me but it doesn't change the love I have grown to have for him. I just want to feel better ! I pray and pray for his peace of mind more than my own. Thanks for letting this be a place that I can vent ! It is a life saver !

 

[missd84]

I am glad that you have found this place where you feel comfortable venting and that it has helped you. Being in that situation, most certainly must be difficult. I hope that things improve with him and that he will tell you what his decision was because wondering is tortuous. I'll be praying for you and for him.

 

[brandy faye novak]

Thank you missd84

 

[KellyA]

Brandy: I'm not saying he didn't take the job, but don't be too certain that he did simply because he shut you out all of a sudden. When the opportunity to "go back" arises, it's hard for someone like your guy to turn away because, even though he knows it would be an unhealthy move, I bet that it would feel great being back in a lot of ways, such as, when you are deployed, you don't think about these issues, you just get in the "job" mindset and you have to stay focused on that. There is no family around, no responsibilities other than the work. And that's a seductive idea to a PTSD sufferer. He may have taken the job, sure, but he may have turned it down also, but since the idea of deployment is fresh again, has maybe brought some memories back to the surface and he needs some space to think those through again. Just food for thought.