@Shankara just a small thought; I find it was a big red flag when I was sayig to myself, "who's isn't", or it wasn't so bad, or it was 'those days'. In actuality, people who don't have trauma or stuff like that never think to say it. There are some who's it "isn't"/ wasn't.
But I also realize after about 5-7 years if grappling with it, I don't have to protect or defend anyone because it doesn't have to do with blame so much as acknowledging the impact. If that makes sense? Ugh.
FWIW, I threw out any photo with me in it.
:hug:
ETA, it also helped to realize I would not want my own child or a child raised in all the same ways, in the way that there weren't alternatives or other stuff was happening, but at least it explains a lot of why I thought and felt as I did as a child, and even now.
So my parents could be great, the circumstances not, others harmful or mixed up, but inevitably I was affected, and also had my own personality, etc.
But I also realize after about 5-7 years if grappling with it, I don't have to protect or defend anyone because it doesn't have to do with blame so much as acknowledging the impact. If that makes sense? Ugh.
FWIW, I threw out any photo with me in it.
:hug:
ETA, it also helped to realize I would not want my own child or a child raised in all the same ways, in the way that there weren't alternatives or other stuff was happening, but at least it explains a lot of why I thought and felt as I did as a child, and even now.
So my parents could be great, the circumstances not, others harmful or mixed up, but inevitably I was affected, and also had my own personality, etc.
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