Escaping Sear And Roebuck

[Bill Dickerson]

Took my Mom Xmas shopping last night at Sears. Suddenly someone called out my last name. I turned to see someone who was familiar but I could't place. She said you don't remember me do you and she leaned in toward my Mom and said guess where I know him from. Internal panic. In my head felt that warning noise when a place is nosing over. "Terrain Terrain Pull up Pull up!"

She leaned in and I was afraid she would say I arrested her. Come to find out I went to jr high and we had worked together at a hospital. This was worse than I thought. What if she asked what happened to me or what are you doing now.

I couldn't wait to out of there. It felt like I was being chased by a bear. I wanted to flee. In my head I could see her talking to other people that knew me before I got sick. "Oh yea girl he's crazy now you know."

This happen to anyone else?

 

[therapybankrupt]

I understand totally Bill! My biggest fear is running into someone I do not remember. Cause my memory is shot. I just pretend I remember but it is horrible. I want to get away cause I do not want them to know I am a scarecrow! If I only had a brain. :mask: I think the trama's took memories around the times they happened in my life. So much I do not recall.

 

[Bill Dickerson]

It seems a lot of my memories are buried deep. The ones I do remember are the bad ones.

It feels like my life belonged to someone else before I was sick.

 

[therapybankrupt]

Bill isn't it weird that the bad memories are the most vivid! Since I started my trauma treatment I have had tons of memories including childhood songs come as clear to mind as clear as if I was there. It is so nice to be able to have hope of recovering so many good memories as I dilute the bad. Do you have a trauma therapist?

 

[Bill Dickerson]

I have a very good (T). I know she does EMDR but the last time I tried that it went all wrong.

 

[therapybankrupt]

Glad you have good T. Sorry the EMDR wasn't right for you. Good luck in your journey!