So I feel my last therapy session was important because I became aware of something that may play a part in my regular memory loss. (I have a lot of issues with memory) We started talking about something that was very upsetting to me. I felt tears coming and pain/sadness/anxiety rise up in my chest. Hardly thinking about it quickly changed the topic to "safer" stressors to discuss, like school and my family. The bad feelings subsided and derealization kicked in as the room felt like I had been dropped into a dream.
I realized this had happened several times now during therapy so I ended up cutting myself off mid conversation and telling the therapist about what I just observed. When she asked me what it was that made me have that response, I realized I had completely forgotten!! Something we had only been talking about 10 or so minutes before! We worked together to try to recover what it was but I was unable to. She told me I had to learn that it was safe to express my emotions, and that it was good I became aware of this coping mechanism my brain uses to avoid feeling or expressing these things. (It is not a good idea to have meltdowns in my house, you bring the wrath of my dad upon you). I agreed and realized this must spill into so many other areas of my life. Like when I am stressed out and simply forget very important things because they are related to my stress, or will come in and out of someplace several times still forgetting something because it is associated with stress. My mind literally immediately distracts me and then causes me to forget what I was just doing or thinking/talking about.
It's very concerning to me just like the other issues with my memory I have found, but I think now that I am aware my brain does this I can work hard to counteract it. Anyone else have this issue?
I realized this had happened several times now during therapy so I ended up cutting myself off mid conversation and telling the therapist about what I just observed. When she asked me what it was that made me have that response, I realized I had completely forgotten!! Something we had only been talking about 10 or so minutes before! We worked together to try to recover what it was but I was unable to. She told me I had to learn that it was safe to express my emotions, and that it was good I became aware of this coping mechanism my brain uses to avoid feeling or expressing these things. (It is not a good idea to have meltdowns in my house, you bring the wrath of my dad upon you). I agreed and realized this must spill into so many other areas of my life. Like when I am stressed out and simply forget very important things because they are related to my stress, or will come in and out of someplace several times still forgetting something because it is associated with stress. My mind literally immediately distracts me and then causes me to forget what I was just doing or thinking/talking about.
It's very concerning to me just like the other issues with my memory I have found, but I think now that I am aware my brain does this I can work hard to counteract it. Anyone else have this issue?
