General Ex boyfriend explosive anger

[Freida]

PTSD does not give us the right to be abusive assholes.
We have choices:
Treatment or no treatment.
Abusive or not abusive
Blaming others or not blaming
Caring or not caring

These are our CHOICES. I can see which ones he has made. Now the ball is in your court. Are you willing to live with his choices?

 

[FeelingUsed2020]

All, thank you so much for your replies. I told him today that i understand he has PTSD and while i can't begin to imagine what that's like to go through and i wanted to help him in whatever way i could but i will no longer be blamed / yelled at or physically threatened. I told him he needs help or he will lose people (the few that do care about him - me and his family). I'll be around if he chooses to get help if not then there is no contact no friendship nothing. As much as i still love him i can't and won't be treated like I'm nothing

 

[Teasel]

Good for you @FeelingUsed2020 ?
How did he take it?

 

[FeelingUsed2020]

He said he's still in counciling, he also said he doesn't feel good about the way he's handled things and how he's spoken to me and when he gets like that he goes into depression. I feel sorry for what hes going through but i can't be his punch bag anymore

 

[Sideways]

If his behaviour in the relationship is making him depressed (and that's incredibly insightful of him), then you've made the right choice. You've both now acknowledged that, in spite of having feelings for each other, the relationship wasn't leaving either of you in a good place.

Change, for him, is going to be hard work. But very possible. It might feel crappy, but in holding your boundary ("Treating me like that isn't acceptable, so I'm leaving"), you've managed to model a healthy relationship for him. Which is so important to the healing process.

I hope for the best for both of you. Healing for him, and happiness and safety for you.