Ex Wives - Plural

[anthony]

Well... I have to say the last couple of months have been interesting in the department of ex-wives. Whilst I have kind off merrily moved on with my life, as so have they... it seems that spitefulness is just lingering that they need to still inflict pain onto my life.

When we went to see my eldest graduate recruit training from the Navy, his mother was also their, being my first wife... well... the atmosphere was cold and on saying hi, I got a grunt... though her guy didn't have any issues having a chat and saying hi, which was nice.

Second wife... the all bad, out of control PTSD relationship, well... she has now sent through more child support papers claiming I have more money again, or atleast she wants more money again, even though my income has always been fully declared to child support agency, is pretty much well fixed for the rest of my life... she just keep coming.

I believe she is pregnant... think she got a backyard wedding or something, not real sure whether married or not, but I think she is again.... primarily because she is moving her guy to Darwin, as he is being posted their. Well... me and him, again... no probs at all. Why blokes just have zero issue with each... unsure... but her and me... I have no issue, but she obviously has a major one. I think it probably has something to do with the fact that I'm not suffering in constant misery, so she has to do something, like file CSA paperwork over and over, in order to make me ill. She knows it will and does make me ill... buts she f*cken insane overall.

I really wish ex's would just let go and get on with their life... it looks as though she has, which is great for her... but then I feel like she just has to keep coming at me to knock me down ill again. I knew she was a bitch, but hey.... again, totally out of control PTSD during that time and I wasn't of right mind... not even close actually.

Starting to get the shits with ex's.

No doubt us saving for a holiday to the Caribbean 3 years in advance... well... no doubt that money should go to her in her mind... apparently I'm not allowed to even probably have a holiday, even though it takes us 3 years to save, as the rest of our enjoyment money goes on seeing the boys twice a year... which is the only holiday time we otherwise have together.

 

[Nicolette]

I just want to run down the street screaming.................

I forgot that everything I worked hard for and owned before meeting Anthony now becomes his assets meaning he has less costs and can pay more child support even though the rules say otherwise. Shit, why do we deserve any happiness and comforts?

I also have to deal with Anthony and him being ill and apparently being female amongst all this stress means I get too emotional which doesn't help either (shit, should have been born a bloke :eek:).

What Anthony fails to see and understand is that his second ex wife should live a life of luxury including weekly facials and massages so she is kept in tip top condition to look after his children which she takes further and further away from him with a comment "I have spoken to my lawyer and there is nothing you can do about it". I mean, what is he thinking he has any rights to see his kids without astronomical costs or have any pleasures in life before someone who desperately wanted children....hello!!! :mad:

And while the first wife was pissy, I made the effort to say hello and put my hand out and got a filthy look, their son removed all photos of the event containing us from his Facebook page and only left the ones of him on there. Now being female 1 + 1 = 3 on the emotional stakes which would make me bet highly that the photos were removed due to mum :rolleyes:.

Someone give me a scotch!

 

[Jimmy1]

Hey you guys, I can only empathise with you.

Yes, until the children turn 18, or leave school and start work full time, you have to pay. And yes it based on Anthony's taxable income. But if she moves the children further and further away, she has to pay at least half of the journey as Anthony is entitled to visitation rights.

You could be an arsehole like my second ex-wife's ex-husband and hide his income. I had to pay child support for my first two children and supported three children from my second marriage because he had a clever accountant.
He owned a house in his brothers name, a new car in his girlfriends name and yet claimed he earned no money.

And you know, I did not mind paying what I owed, until my daughter said that she had to pay for her own new clothes.
That really pissed me off. I reckon I was paying for their house.

Just having my bleat.

 

[anthony]

Yer... letting a specialist child support solicitor deal with it all this time, as I'm sick of being screwed to the wall by a money hungry bitch because she knows what words to use and get CSA's support. So this time I am hoping CSA screw up like they have before, as then this lawyer can force a decision through the courts and she will no longer be able to keep doing this crap too me every year with lodging for more money, considering my income is about the same each year.

 

[Steph_F]

Anthony,

I, of course cannot truly empathize, I don't have PTSD, a bitchy ex-wife nor do I pay child support. My ex ran off to Mexico and practically disappeared leaving me all the debt (he had a well paying job and we had a very nice life once upon a time ago) and I have never received a penny in child support. At over $50,000 in arrears, they closed my case and chalked it up to a lost cause.

My boyfriend however...shares your story to a "T"...I have seen her piss poor attitude and bitterness drag him down off cloud nine and into hell so fast it makes my head spin. He showed me one of his latest paycheck stubs and the amount deposited into HIS bank account is less than HALF of what his gross income is for the year...less than half! He understands that it is a state-determined formula used to decide the amount of child support and he is trying hard to accept that, but she is always sending him snotty text messages or making taking little jabs at him when she sees he's happy. The thing that bothers me so much is that it pushes him (or he allows it to push him) in that place where I lose him and I take the brunt of his anger and pain and frusteration. He needs to forgive himself for the misery he put her through and at the same time I just want to tell her to "woman up" and forgive and get on with her life already.

I am really sorry that you are being put through the child support/ex-wife wringer, but remember that by being greedy and low-down, she is giving you the opportunity to take the high road and show your children what kind of man their dad truly is!


Faith is really important to my b/f and I and we just remind us that The Big Guy is watching everything and it will all get sorted out in the end.









Keep your head up and know that you are changing lives for the better by sharing your knowledge, experiences journeys and struggles and thank you for everything! I think in Australia they say like "cheers to you mate" or something like that, right! :-)

Your friend, Stephanie

 

[anthony]

Thanks Steph... I actually think similar, in that you do good and hopefully the bad steers clear... those that are nasty and bad, hopefully they get what is coming to them. I don't believe lowering myself to her standard is the answer.

 

[vikingr12]

I guess the contrast is having a wife who wants a divorce and I know cannot take care of herself and I still care for her. I am still waiting for that phone call later asking for money or a car or something or even to come back home.

I am lucky I suppose but the guilt of letting her go off by herself with no knowledge of how to deal with living in the US (she's Chinese) is rough. I guess I just care for every human being. well, almost.

 

[JarHed]

Some people are just stuck in the mud of their own making. Things don't always work out like we would like, that's life as they say. It's just that constant vindictiveness and having to drag you through the briars one more time attitude that surely sucks. I feel for both you and your wife.You both deserve to have a decent life of your own with out all that other stuff.

Life is tough enough without the added burden of what we have and have to deal with. Add to it this money stuff that won't go away and it just puts it over the top.

I hope you can find some peace with it all, my friends. My best hopes and wishes that it may change for the better.

Jar

 

[SGT.Sunshine.]

Song is on point with this topic, and I think it has alot of heart.

Familiar story to many I am sure.

 

[Raven]

My two cents? You're giving her motivations far too much credit. She probably just wants the money, that's all.

I don't think that she is executing an elaborate plan to make you miserable. If she's moved on and is now with another guy, then for his sake I hope she isn't still fixated on giving you high blood pressure.

I know a few chicks like her (I'm looking at you, dear sister.) They don't really care how their exes feel about it one way or another, they're just greedy.

(And now I realize I'm about a year late to the party.)