I'm not sure if this forum is where I should be but it seems as good a place as any to start... after years of battling my mental health I recently got a diagnosis of bpd. still in that stage of waiting for therapy everything has gone wrong. my partner of 7 years just left me as i wasn't handling the death of a close relative very well, in the second week of grieving I was just constantly angry and despite my best efforts and me being aware it ended in the end of our relationship. he says I need to focus on sorting myself out before we think about getting back together. any advice?
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Other Falling apart - recently diagnosed with bpd (borderline personality disorder)
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EveHarrington
VIP Member
Welcome!
Do you have PTSD?
Do you have PTSD?
littleoc
VIP Member
Unfortunately, no, no advice right now except to say that you should take time to care for yourself :)
I'm sorry you're in a rough place, but I'm so glad you found the forums. Look around! There is helpful information here for you, and people who can help you heal.
I'm sorry you're in a rough place, but I'm so glad you found the forums. Look around! There is helpful information here for you, and people who can help you heal.
blackemerald1
VIP Member
Welcome @lasttime,
Grief and mental health problems are a bad combination.
If you have been getting angry and feel out of control you probably should seek some help sooner than in a few weeks.
Might I suggest you local Community Health Centre or your usual doctor? Grief may take a long time to work though.
It's probably good your partner has put some distance between you both. Obviously your partner wasn't coping with your behaviour/anger.
@EveHarrington - good question. Have you been diagnosed with PTSD as well?
Grief and mental health problems are a bad combination.
If you have been getting angry and feel out of control you probably should seek some help sooner than in a few weeks.
Might I suggest you local Community Health Centre or your usual doctor? Grief may take a long time to work though.
It's probably good your partner has put some distance between you both. Obviously your partner wasn't coping with your behaviour/anger.
@EveHarrington - good question. Have you been diagnosed with PTSD as well?
sleepingwolf
Bronze Member
Welcome to the forums, you will find a lot of support and help here.
I empathise with where you're at right now, as I've been there too. My advice would be to take the time to help and heal yourself, and go slowly. I think its always wise to care for yourself first, then see how it can go with others. I would focus on yourself for a time though.
There is a place of calm, peace and light out there, and these feelings and rocky times will pass. It took me a while but I'm now in a stable and calm place.
Good luck! :):hug:
I empathise with where you're at right now, as I've been there too. My advice would be to take the time to help and heal yourself, and go slowly. I think its always wise to care for yourself first, then see how it can go with others. I would focus on yourself for a time though.
There is a place of calm, peace and light out there, and these feelings and rocky times will pass. It took me a while but I'm now in a stable and calm place.
Good luck! :):hug:
lostforgottensoul
VIP Member
I have BPD as well as PTSD and a few other letters (hehe). I'm not sure what you a seeking advice for specificlly but I will advise DBT and possibly medication. Seriquel XR (extended release) is a godsend for me.
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not diagnosed, but then it's taken me years to get the bpd diagnosis
they started me on quetiapine then the slow release version and have had to keep me on a minimal dose because I get severe restless legs with it. the doctor is refusing to try anything else but it's all battles even getting this medication instead of antidepressants after a diagnosis was awful they just didn't want to know
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Heather Nelson
New Here
I have borderline as well. Meditation has really helped me to do a better job of regulating my emotions. We feel more deeply than most so learning to control your emotions and not let them control you is huge. I realize this is much more easily said than done.
Welcome.
No pressure to answer but have you had a history of trauma as well? If you have and have symptoms directly related to them (vivid thoughts and reminders of them often, flashbacks to them, etc) then this will probably be a very helpful place for you. If PTSD is the issue then dealing with the past is NB. If PTSD isn't then it is much more helpful to deal with the present, and coping skills. Are you receiving grief counselling?
No pressure to answer but have you had a history of trauma as well? If you have and have symptoms directly related to them (vivid thoughts and reminders of them often, flashbacks to them, etc) then this will probably be a very helpful place for you. If PTSD is the issue then dealing with the past is NB. If PTSD isn't then it is much more helpful to deal with the present, and coping skills. Are you receiving grief counselling?
Sometimes I feel we treat humans like robots in such that we think if you have one experience, this is the result. Another experience, this is another result. I think one of the reasons so many people are mis-diagnosed, un-diagnosed or wrongly diagnosed is precisely because
a)we do not know everything about human mind, body and spirit connection and the exact direct result of each experience
b) humans are not machines where one psychological or emotional or spiritual experience has a direct result on one area of the body, mind and spirit.
I think if people find this site and "felt" resonate with it, a chance should have been given for them to benefit rather than trying if they were in fact "diagnosed" with PTDS. The only reason, I am posting this is because what is really PTDS? If they knew exactly what it is by now, they would have given a magic pill for it. Most people are not even given this diagnosis often because the system prefers a more concrete conditions not so much symptoms and such as PTDS, espeically with childhood trauma.
And especially a childhood trauma is so prevalent and almost the most common denominator as the template for many mental conditions (that are not biologically diagnosed).
I was diagnosed with PTDS at 46 years old (when I went back to therapy school and wanted to deal with my past). And oddly enough, I sort of knew I had some stuff (I mean I had my childhood memories to know one cannot be born there and grew up to be super healthy) but yet my doctor would refuse to use the C-PTDS because she said it is not in the book! Really? That was the only reason...it was laughable.
Because I do not have any post trauma in my adulthood that is affecting me. Almost everything I am experiencing has relation to my early days as a child but yet no! a veteran and I have same diagnosis. OK!
So even though you have not been diagnosed with PTDS and honestly the system is so business like and corporate driven, they may want you to be exactly where they get you - whatever that box is, I think only you know if you carry trauma or have post traumatic feelings and you do not need validation from anyone.
Borderline disorder is something that starts around 1 to 4 years old and honestly, even if you started having that then (that is what they said), then it would not be surprising if you also accumulated trauma just to survive, you being different or others around you being different.
People are not in boxes. We are more like water and can be very malleable creatures.
I hope you find some news, information and other tips to help you maneuver in this world. Regardless of diagnosis, you could probably find a lot of help here.
I wish you well.
a)we do not know everything about human mind, body and spirit connection and the exact direct result of each experience
b) humans are not machines where one psychological or emotional or spiritual experience has a direct result on one area of the body, mind and spirit.
I think if people find this site and "felt" resonate with it, a chance should have been given for them to benefit rather than trying if they were in fact "diagnosed" with PTDS. The only reason, I am posting this is because what is really PTDS? If they knew exactly what it is by now, they would have given a magic pill for it. Most people are not even given this diagnosis often because the system prefers a more concrete conditions not so much symptoms and such as PTDS, espeically with childhood trauma.
And especially a childhood trauma is so prevalent and almost the most common denominator as the template for many mental conditions (that are not biologically diagnosed).
I was diagnosed with PTDS at 46 years old (when I went back to therapy school and wanted to deal with my past). And oddly enough, I sort of knew I had some stuff (I mean I had my childhood memories to know one cannot be born there and grew up to be super healthy) but yet my doctor would refuse to use the C-PTDS because she said it is not in the book! Really? That was the only reason...it was laughable.
Because I do not have any post trauma in my adulthood that is affecting me. Almost everything I am experiencing has relation to my early days as a child but yet no! a veteran and I have same diagnosis. OK!
So even though you have not been diagnosed with PTDS and honestly the system is so business like and corporate driven, they may want you to be exactly where they get you - whatever that box is, I think only you know if you carry trauma or have post traumatic feelings and you do not need validation from anyone.
Borderline disorder is something that starts around 1 to 4 years old and honestly, even if you started having that then (that is what they said), then it would not be surprising if you also accumulated trauma just to survive, you being different or others around you being different.
People are not in boxes. We are more like water and can be very malleable creatures.
I hope you find some news, information and other tips to help you maneuver in this world. Regardless of diagnosis, you could probably find a lot of help here.
I wish you well.
Justmehere
Sponsor
This isn’t how PTSD is diagnosed. The vast majority of people who survive criterion A trauma do not have a PTSD diagnosis. PTSD is more than event = diagnosis. It’s a specific set of clinical mental health conditions that only a subset of trauma survivors develop.
and yet unfortunately many people are not diagnosed on timely manner why is that? It is not straight forward diagnosis.
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