RussellSue
Not Active
My sister was sexually abused by my former stepfather for years. My mother failed her in a huge way and fails to recognize the seriousness of multiple years of sexual abuse to this day. If she really means to insult me, she will tell me that I am acting like my sister when I am angry.
Some-fifteen years ago, my mother sat on my couch in tears, apologizing to me for my stepfather's abuse, for abandoning me, etc. I forgave her. But she never apologized to my sister and they don't have a relationship.
Frankly, sometimes I feel guilty for having a peaceful relationship with my mother while my sister does not. I have told my mother how I feel about the way she discusses my sister's abuse - that I disagree that my sister is making some big deal of nothing and also made clear that even I felt that my mother had favored me over my sister, carefully explaining that all my medical issues meant I necessarily got more attention, at the very least. She disagrees.
Sometimes I think the loyalty for my sister is rooted in us surviving the abuse together - other times I just think it's because my mom is being an insensitive asshole and I don't like that in a human being.
Has anyone else had family loyalty issues like this? Any thoughts?
Some-fifteen years ago, my mother sat on my couch in tears, apologizing to me for my stepfather's abuse, for abandoning me, etc. I forgave her. But she never apologized to my sister and they don't have a relationship.
Frankly, sometimes I feel guilty for having a peaceful relationship with my mother while my sister does not. I have told my mother how I feel about the way she discusses my sister's abuse - that I disagree that my sister is making some big deal of nothing and also made clear that even I felt that my mother had favored me over my sister, carefully explaining that all my medical issues meant I necessarily got more attention, at the very least. She disagrees.
Sometimes I think the loyalty for my sister is rooted in us surviving the abuse together - other times I just think it's because my mom is being an insensitive asshole and I don't like that in a human being.
Has anyone else had family loyalty issues like this? Any thoughts?