Feeling Ashamed

[trying2movefwd]

I'm back to that place. I feel so much shame!!! :cry: What can I do to prevent myself from getting any lower? If I get any lower I sense another hospitalization happening.It's like my mind wants to go "there", but I know better.

 

[ladee]

What is causing your spiral?

 

[trying2movefwd]

I can't bring myself to type it out or talk about it. I should probably talk with someone who knows my whole story like my minister.

 

[Deleted member 541]

If you can't discuss it, then you don't find solutions to fix it. Just a thought. If you can discuss it with your minister, then I suggest you give him/her a call and ask for a meeting.

 

[trying2movefwd]

I know holding it in is toxic.But letting it out wiill be so painful.

 

[Arebas]

I know holding it in is toxic.But letting it out wiill be so painful.

I guess the question then should be: what would be more painful, talking about it or "going there"? On the first one there's pain and there's company and the other one feels safer cause you already know what's gonna be like but lonelier...
If it's good for anything we're here reading. You don't have to actually say anything and we still be here reading.

 

[Deleted member 541]

@trying2movefwd Painful you heal from. Toxic you can die from it.

 

[ForgotToLive]

If you can't talk yet then maybe you can at least interrupt the spiral as a coping kind of fix. Maybe blast your headphones LOUD and go running/cycling? Like don't ananyze if this is a good idea, just get up and do it fast with as robotic a mindset as possible.

At least for me loud angry music hijacks my bad fearful thoughts and take them to a more empowered place, meanwhile intense exercise floods me with endorphins, plus after I exhaust and/or cry myself out I always have a feeling of accomplishment.

Of course you have to catch the spiral early enough to still be able to get moving.

 

[Deleted member 38242]

Shame is so toxic to the soul. I battle with that emotion badly. It has ruled my world until this past year. I had so much shame about my life and childhood that was so deeply ingrained. Shame and hiding from things caused me to live a bad life for a lot of years. But, shame is an illusion because everyone has different ideas of what is shameful, and what is not. I watched youtube videos today about the people of walmart, and felt so much better about myself, and life. I would suggest that as a cure for shame as it could always be worse.

 

[Nevermore]

@trying2movefwd shame has been a big part of my life for many years, and I have rarely shared the back story, but I'm starting to realise I have to if I want to overcome this feeling.
For me, I'm thinking of sharing it with my therapist. I've shared just about everything else!
But I do believe one has to be careful who you share with. When I was young and it was all fresh, I shared openly expecting to be healed that way. It didn't work that way and I regret it. not so trusting any more, and wiser now.
It takes a wise soul to be able to help with the dark and humiliating secrets most of us carry and not everyone is a wise soul.
But if you know of one, which sounds like you do, it could be a great gift and liberating to be held and understood.
Shame can be such a powerful force and stop you fulfilling your true potential.
I hope you talk to your minister and I hope he/she helps.
I want to shake off the past now. Sounds like you do too! Hope it goes well (:

 

[Copper Princess]

I'm back to that place. I feel so much shame!!! :cry: What can I do to prevent myself from getti...

@trying2movefwd I am sending g you big hugs. This s such a terrible place. I am sure that everyone who suffers from PTSD, depression, etc has felt or feels shame. We are here for you. Sometimes writing out the thoughts can help you feel relief. I hope you will let it out over and over again so you can feel better.

 

[trying2movefwd]

I was able to talk with someone. Thanks guys.