Sufferer Finally Ready To Talk To Others Besides My Pdoc

[Aubrey]

My name is ashley. I used a nickname for my screen name because my abuser (my ex) likes to stalk me in anyway he can (including virtual).

I am a 27 year old mother of 2 boys. I was diagnosed with cptsd and borderline personality disorder. I developed my ptsd as a result of an abusive brainwashed relationship from my ex.

I currently have gone off my medication for the 4th time in a few years. At first I feel great and feel like I am "cured". After a month or so I spiral down and have uncontrollable anger and hyper vigilance.

Just wanted to join and talk with others :)

 

[Jill101]

Ashley - I am glad you have reached out on the website for support. Medications for PTSD/Depression/Anxiety can be extremely hard to adjust, so it is so important to find a medical professional you trust and keep working with them. For so many years, I floated by on a low dose antidepressant med that really didn't do much good. I just tried to "deal" with the other symptoms - but eventually, the negative symptoms won out and brought me "to my knees". At the age of 52, I finally reached out and did inpatient treatment at a highly respected program for depression/PTSD etc. I learned so much. It has helped immensely, but even with that, I have to keep up with my support group (via emails), with other women I met from across the country. We are a group of highly educated professional women - that if you saw us on the street - you wouldn't think we had a problem in the world, but when you go to a support group (or) treatment - you find that you "aren't" the only one and you gain strength from each other by sharing - both the ups and the downs. I wish you the very best. I just found this support forum tonite and plan to keep up with it.

 

[arfie]

Hi Ashley. Sorry for what brings you here, but glad you are here.

I'm too onery and ugly for stalkers to be an issue in my life (so far, knock wood) but I still like the free feel of staying anonymous in my support groups. It makes me feel safer while I am navigating the dangerous waters of my PTSD.

I haven't been able to get comfortable with drug therapy, either. I gain from them during the especially broken times, but can't convince myself they are a good long-term solution in my own case. For the long term solutions I lean on my support network. The folks here in the trenches with me are a bottomless well of great suggestions.

Welcome to the forum, Ashley.

 

[Bees Are Awesome]

Hi Ashley! Welcome!

I know all about the cycling on and off of medications as I did that for 20 years. I felt great, quit the meds, things got bad, self-medicated with booze instead...yeah, it is just a bad path to go down. Now that I have some clean time, I realize that, as much as I do not like taking medications, the ones that I am on now are working so I just need to continue to take them even when I do feel better. That just means they are working correctly.

I have two small boys as well and I'm basically trying to do everything I can to make sure they feel happy and healthy and loved. Along with that comes my responsibility to take care of myself, especially when I don't want to.

You made another good step by joining the forum and introducing yourself. I hope you find that you aren't alone and that many of us really do understand.

 

[Aubrey]

Thank you for all of the positive replies :) I have been looking through a lot of the posts on here and I am astonished at how much I relate to all of these different posts. In a world where you feel alone, especially as a mother who feels like I am ruining my childrens childhoods with all my anger and anxiety I think this site is a blessing :)

 

[intothelight]

Hi Ashley,

Welcome to MyPTSD forum! :)

Medication seems to be one of the most sensitive issues with people. There are times it works really well and a person can benefit from being on it, but when they are better they quit. Others have no luck with it and it seems to make them worse. Finally there are those that medicine really doesn't make a difference either way.

You have to decide for yourself, regardless of what you think that "others" think as to whether or not medication is for you. I was on medication for a while that did not help, and then I took medication that did. But it wasn't until I started taking chemo that I realized that my medication for PTSD was no different than my medication for cancer as both made me better.

Just do what is best for you and what helps you to get better.

Take care.

Debbie

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

Welcome to the forum. :)