Finding A Therapist

[I'll call myself "Tim".]

I know absolutely nothing about this. How do you find a therapist? What is a good therapist? What should I be looking to avoid?

What I'm looking for basically is an answer to this question:

"When you decided to work on your mental health, how did you even start?"

I really don't understand this. I feel there is clearly something wrong with me, but I have no idea who I should go see first.

Thank you.

 

[Lauren]

Hi again Tim. I responded to your first post not knowing you had posted this one. In it I talked about finding a good therapist.

If you have medical insurance that includes mental health you might want to start there. Using an in network T will probably cost you less. I researched all of the T's in my network within the driving distance I was willing to go. Many of them have their own websites. Then I made a list of the T's I thought might specialize in my perceived problems. I knew that I didn't want a female therapist as I have a hard time trusting women because of my mother. After compiling that list I called several and interviewed them on the phone. I made an appt with the one I liked best who happened to be the only faith based Therapist in the group (a very important component for me). Fortunately we connected and he is very good. He is intuitive in his understanding, gives me homework (another important component to me) and knows when he needs to push me as well as when to back off giving me time to process and get my barings again.

Even when you find a therapist that you feel comfortable with, realize that it will take time to build trust. Most of us here have a very hard time with trust. Opening up makes us vulnerable. Remembering is hard and scary. Trust is vital in this journey with your therapist. Do your homework in researching, finding the therapists who work with anger and anxiety issues. Then interview several and make an appt to see the one or two that you feel most comfortable with. Most likely using this model will help you find the therapist that works best for you.

Good luck Tim!

 

[I'll call myself "Tim".]

Hi Lauren,

Thank you for your replies. I have insurance which is really good. I do need to check and see if it covers mental health though. Thank you for bringing up faith based therapy. It wasn't in my mind when I had written my previous posts and I view it as extremely important as well. Like many folks, I live in an area where one faith is mostly predominant and I'm not of that faith. I imagine that it would probably be beneficial if my therapist and I had similar belief systems as I know that one of the issues that I keep shoving out of my mind or trying to deal with on my own has it's roots based in faith. I'm having an extremely hard time reconciling that one. It's probably a minor one in comparison to some of the other things that I've just erased from this post.

Finding a therapist of some sort or another has been on my mind in an on and off fashion for the last month or so. It looks as though it's time to deal with some of the monsters in my head. ...anyway, thank you again for your post.

 

[anthony]

Faith based therapy is not a solution for PTSD, sorry. I am not dismissive off religion, but sorry, PTSD is beyond the realm off churches and need specialist assistance, not faith.

Search out trauma specialists in your area. Ask local physicians for their recommendations, and I mean ask many around your area and see who comes up a lot as a reputable one. Be careful that they aren't just a buddy system though, but actually reputable and good for trauma therapy. Therapists are not created equally, a family therapist is useless for trauma therapy and vice versa. Ask at military establishments who they send vets too in the area, as they will be specialists for trauma. Faith based therapy doesn't encompass the hard arse approach which you are going to need at times, mixed with empathy, not sympathy.

 

[gdf]

Wanted to comment on your remarks Anthony. If I am incorrect (to Lauren and Tim) please correct my interpretation of your statements and thoughts.

I think maybe what Tim and Lauren might be referring to is a counselor/psychologist who can help reconcile issues of faith to PTSD to reduce the conflict with their faith, values, etc. A deep, spiritual connection in many believers in Christian religions makes it difficult to reconcile questions about God's love and presence when things happen as a result of historical (watershed) PTSD event(s) and current PTSD events, for instance, " can I hate the person who did this to me" because some feelings may be considered sinful. Or "why did God let be in this situation when I have been faithful to my religious and spiritual values?" For those of use who have religious beliefs some things about PTSD don't make sense in our worlds, i.e., if we are good Christians. Anger is a big one--how do we be angry and sin not when this horrible thing has made me suffer? When trying to live a Christ-centered life it is very difficult to know what to do about the anger, hatred and temptations such as relying on drinking/drugs and other addictions which are part of trying to numb PTSD. For example, the church I attended for years and am a member of doesn't believe in drinking, dancing, smoking or tobacco use of any type, premarital sex, divorce or cinema. If you used some of things things to be self-destructive when your PTSD was really active it could damage many things connected with your faith and become a source of confusion and conflict.

Many non-believers have a picture of faith-based counselors as solving everything on faith and prayer alone but it is more than just prayer and faith--clinical skills are involved also. I don't think that counselors/psychologists who are from a faith-based angle are trying to enable behaviors but rather just understand them in the Christian framework and encourage healing without destroying that value structure. One's beliefs can be a very powerful change agent and can augment healing as would other other views. I know my current T (Christian oriented approach) has pushed me harder and farther than the last secular T I had so my healing has moved forward and I have improved. A lot of it is about getting the right fit in the relationship and a faith-based approach may be just as challenging (or more so) as a secular one because preserving spirituality as part of the human psyche is very hard sometimes. Understanding the spiritual component is a way of showing empathy for the sufferer within the religious orientation to counseling. We all have different needs and faith-based orientations can really fill the bill for a number of sufferers. Just something to ponder in the vast world of opinions.

Gina

 

[intothelight]

Hi Gina,

Thank you for bringing up the issues you did in your post regarding the reconciliation of Faith and PTSD. Those issues, unreconciled, can be a stumbling block to healing.

Intothelight

 

[Iam]

I couldn't agree more Gina. My Therapist is a christian, but will incorporate faith only if the client requests it. Reconciling what happened to me has caused a HUGE spiritual crisis for me which only adds to my PTSD. My T pushes me hard, but also knows when I am becoming overwhelmed to the point of breaking. He backs off and comes at it from a different approach at those times. In fact he throws me off my guard most sessions by switching up how we are working on something. He has brought me quite a distance so far. Part of the reason I can trust him is because I know that he understands that spiritual healing is part of what I need in this whole mess.

That being said...I agree Anthony, we have unique walls and misperceptions as a result of our abuse and disorder. Any dr. that we choose to help us in this journey had better be well aware of how to guide PTSD patients.

 

[gdf]

Yes, it is a tool that can be used in the journey to wellness and Anthony is very right, we do need a dose of reality and to be pushed to work through things. I know I have to have that forward momentum and I want support not sympathy to get well. Ironically, I find that the two significant female therapists pushed me harder than any male therapists I have dealt with in life. Oddly, I would have thought the male therapist would have pushed harder but not true. The women have always been the ones to say "pay attention to this--you're thinking is faulty! Wake up to the point."

 

[anthony]

Sorry, my references are only applicable to those who do not use a trauma specialist, but instead opt only for something like local priest counselling or such. Nothing to do with religious or not, everything to do with knowledge and experience related specifically to the problem at hand. Yes, I do agree if you have aspects that are related, then those persons fall under the title for specialist advice for such issues.