Relationship Forgiveness

[Tinyflame]

Thank you @Snowflakes . Tbh I don't understand. :( When non-abusive people do things abusive people did/ do, is that a 'demon' triggered by association, or a head's up of what really 'is', or is coming? Or perhaps the sheer lack of respect and lack of care or hatred like the abusers? :(

Idk . I suppose for these relationships it depends on so many factors. I really don't know.

Thank you and best wishes to you.

 

[Snowflakes]

@Junebug I see your point. In my case, I have absolutely no doubt my sufferer is triggered by association. I've known her much to long, I know her past, and I know her family. She has CPTSD triggered by severe trauma. What we didn't realize was that the target of her episodes would be the very person she loves the most. Perhaps it's rooted in the insucurities generated by her past. I don't know. Thank you for your insight.

@Crazyme I am so sorry I hijacked your thread. I want you to know that all my posts had you in mind. I truly understand your pain.

 

[Crazyme]

Thank you all. Your posts have been very helpful. Unfortunately, I believe that me and my SO might have reached a point of no return. It seems he is an alcoholic and as yet refuses to admit it. Our therapist insists that he enter a 30 day in-patient treatment program before she will continue to see him.

Last night he had us thrown out of a party and then he attacked my brother and nearly strangled him while my brother was driving a boat. We nearly ran into some rocks. It was very dangerous. He put all 3 of our lives in jeopardy. Our therapist told me today that she is concerned that this situation could become deadly.

So I am leaving the house. Staying with friends and trying to figure how I can get some of my things from the house.

 

[Snowflakes]

@Crazyme I'm sorry you are having a difficult time.

You write you're trying to figure how to get your things from your house. Call your local Police or County Sheriff and see if they will do a "Civil Standby." If so, they will meet you at your house and make sure the peace is kept while you retrieve your personal belongings.

Take care.

 

[Snowflakes]

@Junebug @Crazyme I sadly return to this thread. I now know the pain Crazyme writes about reaching the point of no return. I also now know the pain that caused her to ask her original question about forgiveness.

In couples therapy, my sufferer dropped the mother of all bombshells that surprised me, knocked all the air out of my body, and utterly destroyed me. Do I understand, forgive, and move on (again) because she has C-PTSD? It doesn't matter. My heart and soul has been wounded beyond belief.

Will I forgive her? Yes, the PTSD has altered her belief system (so the therapist tells us)
Will I forgive myself? I hope so. I wish I had the strength to get up again but after 10 years, this last accusation and mindset was to much for me.

Junebug......you are right. I can't stand anymore lies and/or grief. Whether one is a sufferer or a supporter, a human being doesn't deserve being taken to their breaking point.

 

[TheMinsterman]

@Snowflakes it's a horrible place to be, when we realise we've simply been pushed as far as we can go, when we have been hurt more than we can bear or explain away with their condition.

My thoughts are with you, my wishes are with you.

 

[Tinyflame]

Aw dear @Snowflakes I am so very sorry. :) Was this bombshell a current action or past?

Prayers for you. :hug::hug::hug::hug: