Getting Over A Major Trigger... Need Help

[Venusian]

I just went to a job interview that went really, really well. It was for a company that I worked for in a different city a year ago and I only quit because I moved closer to family. It was a great company to work for and I would be working with many of the same people at the head office. It is a brand new position so I was really excited to see it advertised. I am hoping that I get the job and I should hear by the end of the week.

The only problem I see with working there is the parking. It is in an underground lot. This is a major trigger for me because of what happened to me. That is the first place I was taken when I was kidnapped, it was where I was first attacked. One of my recurring nightmares starts with the car turning into the dark tunnel under the building. I have always avoided underground parking, I only use it if there is no other choice and if I am with other people, never alone. At the interview they viewed the free parking as a perk for the job. It is in the same building, paid parking downtown is about $200/mo, and in the winter it is warm, a real advantage on the Canadian prairies.

I need to learn how to get over this if I get the job. I don't know if it will trigger panic attacks when I go there every morning or not. I may go there and it won't be a problem, or I may go there and not be able to get out of my car. Does anyone have any suggestions?

 

[intothelight]

Hi Venusian,

Yes, that is a real trigger. My suggestion would be to make sure to schedule your arrival time when the majority of the employees come in, and walk in with them. As you start this habit, you will find some people that will be "expecting" you and that is always a good thing. Same thing when it is time to leave, walk out and park by a group.

Never, never be afraid to ask for security of someone to accompany to your vehicle. It is just a good safety precaution.

Wishing you the best in your new endeavour.

Debbie

 

[freakofnurture]

Go there and practice. Take someone with you in the beginning, try a lot of skills to keep you grounded and calm. :)

 

[Hashi]

I have a major trigger that is not this, but it's something like this. I really thought I've never get over it, but it's much, much less now so I wanted to offer you some hope.

For me a combination of things have helped.

A big one was to inform myself as much as possible, so I knew exactly what to expect and also so I knew what all the security arrangements were (which made me feel safer). Both those things together gave me a benchmark for what was normal. Then when I was having anxiety attacks (sorry but I did have those at first) I could at least try to rationalise, knowing that I was well-informed and not just guessing or speculating.

It was also suggested to me that I take someone with me, and while that might be a great idea for some people for me it didn't apply for two reasons. I didn't have anyone I could take and I think I would still have been convinced the same would happen, just to both of us this time. (Due to the nature of what happened, one extra person wouldn't have made any difference for me.) However, what I was able to do once or twice was to be talking to someone on the phone at crucial moments, and they knew where I was so I knew that if the phone call was suddenly disconnected they could call for help. Having said that there have also been occasions when that wasn't possible, so I don't think it's essential. If it's an option, it might be very helpful, though.

I also worked on this in therapy, and did quite a few things to process it - journalling, art, visualisation. Although I would much rather have not gone there, it was helpful to go there in order to get to a point of being able to carry out the activity.

For me, the more I've done it the less the anxiety has got. I still don't feel 100% safe and relaxed, but where I am now is manageable and I can live my life in this regard. It's something I do quite infrequently, and I think if I was doing it every day to get to work, the anxiety would have diminished much more quickly.

I hope you get the job and I believe there's a way through your very valid concerns about the parking arrangements.

Good luck!

Hashi

 

[Venusian]

Thank you all for your suggestions. I am still waiting to find out if I actually got the job, I guess I won't find out until next week now unless I get the call over the weekend. It is frustrating, it starts on Thursday. The company I interviewed with manages the building and the parking is secure in a way, you can't drive in or out without a pass card but anyone could walk down there if they really wanted to. Part of my job will be answering questions about security so I will have a legitimate reason to ask LOTS of questions and know it inside out. I forgot that part when I did the original post. I'll take it one day at a time..., if I get the job, and hope I have more good days than bad ones at the beginning when I am still finding my way around.

 

[Venusian]

I am really going to find a strategy to cope with this....I got the job...YAY! But...., wow..., I really don't want to be in panic mode my first day before I can get my bearings.