Getting Too Near...

[p-no]

My support said that this guy, Ronald, is really really very mentally ill

Nadia, please be very careful. My experience with several people who were, quote, "really really very mentally ill" AND had problems with their own as well as others' space, touching, etc. is that when I would approach them - for whatever reason (e.g. making my boundaries clear to them) - what they would see was me approaching them -- which was exactly what they wanted, closeness. They did not take note of the reason why I approached them (e.g. making my boundaries clear to them), all they took note of was me approaching them, coming close. It was as if I had tried to show them a big painting but what they took note of was only one apple -- even though the painting showed all the different kinds of fruit there are on the planet. They seemed to pick what they wanted to see (e.g. the mere fact that I was approaching them, coming near them, closeness), yet they totally disregarded that the only reason I approached them was trying to keep them away really, by making my boundaries clear to them.

I am not saying Ronald is like one of them. What I am saying though is that what you wrote in this thread gives me enough reason to stay away from him when I do not have to be near him, if I were you. I would clearly not walk up to him and try to communicate my boundaries anymore. If he were able to understand them and accept them, he would have already done so. You have made your boundaries clear already, several times, in my view.

Just worried, Nadia. Please be careful.

 

[Red Feather]

I would clearly not walk up to him and try to communicate my boundaries anymore. If he were able to understand them and accept them, he would have already done so.

Thanks for this P-no.

 

[Red Feather]

It is very good what you write @p-no. You seem to understand him more than I do.

 

[Red Feather]

Well, since the last time I've posted on this thread, it's been pretty hard dealing with the situation at the day center. It has been pretty destabilizing. When one of the therapist said to me I need to ignore the fact that he is watching everything I do and following me around, well that was my limit... Me and my therapist both decided it would be best to stop going, as I will be going to a trauma clinic at the end of April to start a trauma therapy, and I need to be stable for this. I haven't avoided the situation at all. I even took a self defense course, where I talked about this, and everybody including the workshop leader was asking me why I had to go back there. A doctor of mine also said that it is not avoidance, it is self protection, and there is no therapuetic value in having to continue dealing with Ronald's "pseudo stalking creepiness."

And turns out, Ronald just molested another friend of mine, Rita at the day center. I am pretty shocked to hear this. It's getting out of hand. As soon as I told them at the day center that I am not going back, the same thing happened to Rita, even in a worse way. She is an elderly lady and knew how to handle it, but now the therapists have to finally understand that I am not making this up...!

And I kept on asking myself what do I really need, and that is a place where I can feel safe, be with other people, and I can work on my art projects. So I am looking for such a place, and I think I even found one. I really hope it works out.

 

[Springer80]

Im glad you have come to that conclusion. You dont have to prove your in command of ptsd by putting yourself in dangerous situations, its essentially masochistic.