Having Nightmares And Scared =(

[searchingforserenity]

I have recently started really dealing with my trauma (I was raped 11 years ago). I have started having some very strange and vivid dreams, all of which involve either me getting physically hurt by another person or by myself. Last night, I had a dream in which I was practicing learning how to stab a needle and syringe into a person's heart, but using myself as the dummy (I actually felt a stabbing pain, too). I wake up 4 to 5 times a night because of these dreams. I am dealing with what is literally the worst emotional pain of my entire life, so I wonder if that's what these dreams are trying to show me? Is it "normal" for someone with PTSD to have these kinds of disturbing dreams? Will they go away? This is really scary =(

 

[Changing4Best]

I get them sometimes, yes. I also get awakened sometimes, knowing I have had a nightmare, but not being able to see it. I just have a feeling that I have had one. Also, I wake up sometimes and cannot go back to sleep. I don't know why this happens, but I do have medicine I can take for it if it gets really bad. (HYDROXIZINE).

 

[AngelKeeperJ]

I would say, now that you are dealing with your trauma, the memories have come to the surface, sort of like they have been on the 'ocean floor' where you didn't feel them, but knew they were there. They were 'deep' where they didn't rise up to enter your dreams, but now, they have risen up to be healed.
By the way, I applaud you for beginning to work on them, because at some point, the memories would have come out anyway. Everyone is different when it comes to choosing when to confront the buried pain.

From my own experience, traumas are a bit like onions. Not only do they stink...but they come in layers. One layer gets peeled away, and there is another layer. Each layer is followed by another layer. Eventually, the onion is gone. Depending on each person and trauma, sometimes there are more than one 'onion'. There have been times I thought I had a whole field of onions to work through! Actually, I did, but one by one, I worked through them!

It is difficult at first, since you are bringing the pain of the trauma up to the surface, literally. Your subconscious mind will 'work' on the trauma at night, when the conscious 'top layer' (being awake) is sleeping. The subconscious brain is still working through the trauma. I KNOW this is scary (I have been raped as well), but TRULY well worth the work, and yes...pain. Staying buried will only make it 'rot' and get worse, and possibly never be dealt with, lurking just below the conscious level. That is no way to live.

Reaching out is THE MOST HELPFUL thing you can do!!! You are doing that by being in therapy, and coming here! This Forum is FULL of people who have suffered tremendous trauma, and have survived, and even learned to thrive again!!!

There is POWER in facing trauma, and you will find peace in dealing with something fearful. There is a quote: "Without fear, there is no courage". You survived, and have now chosen to deal with the past. There is courage AND power in that!!!

Welcome, and I hope to see you around!!! :hug:Cyber-hugs if okay!:hug:

Blessings to you!
AKJ

 

[Friday]

I think nightmares are actually in the diagnostic criteria... Yep. CriterionB - Intrusion Symptoms (at least one required) - #2. Traumatic nightmares. So, while nightmares are not required to have PTSD, they're so normal as to be on the list.

Do they go away? That varies. I had about a decade with maybe only a couple of nightmares a year. I was in a good run, for a very long time. I've had years where I'm having brutal nightmares waking and sleeping, day in and out. Others never have more than a handful, or struggle with them for ages, or get so used to them, they no longer bother them. Actually, after a run of nightmares I usually get pissed off, and simply roll over and go back to sleep. So, instead of struggling, am more often in the last category. But I'd also consider only a few a year to be "gone".

 

[shimmerz]

I had night terrors for years. I started to use visualization to go to sleep (I posted about it here somewhere). I created for myself a safe place and fell asleep while creating my safe place (a cave with a fuzzy blanket in a small corner that was protected). That being said, T-doc used to ask about my dreams all the time to see where I was at in my recovery. They helped he and I quite a bit to see what was getting to me at the time.

 

[blackemerald1]

I have recently started really dealing with my trauma

@searchingforserenity You do not mention how you have started with dealing with your trauma but suffice to say that there may be a variety of odd and scary things that you will encounter emotionally, socially and physically. But the most important thing is you are ready to start dealing with the trauma.

I have started having some very strange and vivid dreams

Yes, scary dreams, night terrors or whatever label attached to sleep, including insomnia and chronic tiredness are all part of the journey. I found sleeping tablets gave me unusually brutal night terrors. Where I hallucinated and acted upon those terrors. Have you started any sleeping medications recently? Have you started any medication recently?

If so tell your Therapist or doctor, it may be a side effect which may adjust in time or, it could be as in previous Reply's a result of your mind starting to wake up to the trauma (so to speak).

Even if you have not started taking medications, still tell your Therapist what is going on. If you do not have a Therapist IMHO please get one.

 

[searchingforserenity]

Thank you all for replying! I haven't started any sleeping medication, but I'm going to be careful about it if I end up having to. I start seeing a therapist next week and these nightmares will be the first thing I bring up. It's good to know that these are "normal," though!
@AngelkeeperJ/AKJ : It is like peeling away at an onion, complete with the stinging and crying. I keep telling myself that it won't be this way forever, that someday I'll have regular dreams again :)

 

[blackemerald1]

Good luck with the Therapist, - a suggestion.....please write down in dot point - things you need to ask, because with a history to tell and answers to be given, time will fly by and your are establishing a new relationship with this therapist.

Keeping focused on things is really important and the last thing you want is to step out of the door and think oh crap, I forget to ask about this or that..