Sufferer Held Hostage, Watched Best Friend Be Decapitated

[Snowblower]

Well I have read enough here to feel comfortable to say what I still see every-time I close my eyes. Around several years ago I was taken hostage with my best friend. I then questioned for 2 days while the guy tweaked out. Finally when he was not hearing what he wanted, he proceeded to behead my best friend. He left the location with me facing my friend, it f*cks me up that one of the only clear thought I can pull from those days was the sweet smell of blood. I was able to break free and escaped while he was gone.

 

[SBee]

I am so sorry, Snowblower. I just barely joined this forum and was going to post a little intro myself, but your title caught my eye at how horrible it was (what you went through). I find it interesting the senses that take us back to our tragic moments, i.e. smells, sounds, etc. I hope you find something equally beautiful in your life to the horror you went through.
Regards,
Bee

 

[Abstract]

Oh gosh. I am sorry. That sounds awful. I wish you healing.

 

[The Albatross]

Welcome to the forum, very sorry for the lost of your best friend and the brutality you experienced. Glad though that you escaped.

 

[safenow]

Hi Snowblower,

I too know that smell. I also have it as a taste. Sigh. I am so sorry you too struggle with these things that stay with us. I wish I could say it will go away. But I can say, it won't come up so frequently after time passes. My heart goes out to you, it really does.

I do hope that guy was caught and punished for what he did. I know the woman who murdered my sister spent the rest of her life in prison for what she did. While it didn't change anything, that at least gave me some comfort.

Don't forget to breathe, and keep listening to good things and step out side from time to time and look around while you take some deep cleansing breathes.

See you around the forum,
safenow

 

[rightkindofme]

How to say this in a way that comes out meaning how I mean it in text (I hate text): the fact that you were able to escape is amazing. I am terribly sorry you had such life experiences. No one should have to live through that. I'm glad you did live. I'm glad you survived. I'm so sorry for your friend. It isn't your fault.

I have never been in a situation even remotely like that. I cannot imagine what that feels like. I hope you feel proud of yourself for every single ounce of functionality you have. Moving on is ridiculously hard. If you are doing so at all you are a rock star.

I hope you find support and love and healing here.

 

[KP the nut]

Hi and welcome to the forum.

 

[Snowblower]

Thank you all for the responses. This has been the first time I have talked about this shit with anyone besides my therapist and fiancé.

 

[Upside Down Eagle]

Agreeing with rightkindofme. I've never experienced a situation like that either, but I'm glad you found this forum you can talk on. People here have been through some pretty heavy stuff. I think most of them are familiar with the feeling that the moment will always define you.

Some of them have even managed to move on from those moments. Maybe their progress could provide some encouragement (it sure encourages me to see how people here don't give up despite really bad times). We're here to read whatever it is you want to get off your mind and heart. Welcome!

 

[intothelight]

Welcome to the PTSD Forum! :)

 

[Johnny86]

Really sorry to hear that you had to go through that, and in some ways are still going through it. Hope this isn't too personal, but do you use coke/meth? Is that what your name and the tweaking are referring to? If so, that can really complicate your trauma. In that case you may want to consider detoxing. Sry if this doesn't describe your situation.

 

[AngelKeeperJ]

Welcome, Snowblower!
I'm so sorry for what you have gone through, and are still dealing with. I'm happy you have a therapist and fiancee. I can't say it will ever get 'easy', but over time, it will get 'easier'. The one good thing; you are the last person your best friend saw. He was not alone.

You have come to the right place to tell your story and get input that you won't find anywhere else, and there is NO judgement about your feelings. You will find encouragement, compassion and empathy. I know this to be true for myself.

My motto: Don't give up, and don't give in. You WILL get better.

Blessings & prayers for your recovery so you can continue life happily.