Supporter Hello All. Supporting Wife With Ptsd, Need Support Myself.

[Nathan R]

Thank you to everyone who has welcomed me, and for the kind support. It has been the most difficult challenge I have ever faced, but I push through like I always do. It is just startling to me that 7 years of love and devotion could be completely undone in a mere few months. It shows the true power of this disorder.

 

[Sweetpea76]

Welcome to the forum. We have a great supporter section, and it is a life saver sometimes.

 

[Powder]

Welcome to the forum.

It's not necessarily her job that gave her PTSD. People who already have a childhood history of trauma that they have no access to the memories of, will often be attracted to dangerous people and situations. This will compound the pressure.

It's also not surely a psychotic break (the behaviors you describe) This could all fall under normal PTSD, like during a flashback or dissociation.

My advice is to be willing to cast aside what you believe and know, and be willing to redefine things, like PTSD, who your wife is, and who you are, on a regular basis, based upon the conflicting and new information coming at you.

 

[Nathan R]

Unfortunately, I am not the one who diagnosed it. I didn't even want to believe it. But all of the symptoms are there, and are consistent with ems/first responder/police/firefighter trauma. Screaming and violent outbursts about dead babies, burnt bodies, dead bodies, and being attacked in the back of the ambulance. This country is so ashamed of this disorder (especially in non-military fields), most don't want to acknowledge its existence. The very subject is considered by some companies to be a liability, and is avoided at all cost. The ambulance service she worked for is included.

 

[Livy's Mom]

My advice is to be willing to cast aside what you believe and know, and be willing to redefine things, like PTSD, who your wife is, and who you are, on a regular basis, based upon the conflicting and new information coming at you.

What Muse wrote made me think of the book I'm currently reading "once a warrior, always a warrior". I recommend it to you. It was recommended to me on this site recently.

It does the very thing Muse suggests... Offers a view on PTSD and the people who suffer from it a different perspective. A perspective in which it doesn't paint PTSD as a life sentence of psychological problems. It explains the physiological changes in the body that happen when trauma occurs etc etc..

I recommend it to you because it's less about the symptoms and the damage they cause (which is typically the main focus) and more about why the symptoms exist in the first place. Scientifically speaking. Not the kinds of traumas that cause it.

It states that the symptoms of PTSD are the brains normal reactions to extremely stressful and abnormal situations. We all have the symptoms but at a much smaller degree and the switch back to no symptoms is so fast we barely notice we had them at all.

A person who has PTSD has the reactions on an epic scale and they stay for undetermined amounts of time.

My point here is that I have viewed my partners illness and associated behaviors as purely psychological and with that can come a feeling of helplessness for me and stigma for him.

If you replace that thinking with the idea that PTSD at its core IS a physical illness with physical, cognitive and emotional symptoms then it makes it easier to navigate. It also lessens the "your crazy" vibe we as supporters from time to time give off.

I don't know if that was helpful at all but the shift in thinking was helpful to me and if I ever get the opportunity to speak to my partner again, I look forward to sharing the info.