General Hello From England

[Toria]

Hello - I hope it's ok to join from the UK - we have nothing like this forum over here.

A little bit about me and mine... I met my husband about 8 years ago, when he'd been in the army for 20 years and still had 2 to go. We married in 2004 and in 2005 he collapsed and was diagnosed with PTSD. He struggled to find treatment. We have the NHS over here (National Health Service) on which he was entitled to 18 half-hour therapy sessions. These finished over a year ago.

He has been told that he doesn't have "typical" or normal PTSD symptoms - he gets very emotional, crying at a lot of things that wouldn't usually upset a person. But for me it is his anger which is the hardest thing to deal with. He becomes angry at the smallest thing. Frustration can turn to anger. Anything can turn to anger I guess, and I bear the brunt. Don't get me wrong - he's not violent. But the constant shouting and picking really wears me down.

So here I am. I could go on, but you'd all get bored!

 

[Jimmy1]

Hey, by all means go on and on if you want. It all helps.

A little bit of insight for you to help you understand your man.

Us with Combat PTSD often shut away all our visions, memories and everything else associated with our traumas.
Unfortunately we also shut away all our emotions too, except anger. So when we are having troubles dealing with things, whether being frustrated with doing something, trying to explain something, or even just simply driving down the road, we go to the one true emotion we feel comfortable with, Anger.

The other thing to take into consideration is military conditioning. They teach you to use your anger rather than any other emotion.

Link Removed

If you want a good read, have a look at the above link.

Always remember though, this is just my thoughts and opinions.

Jimmy

 

[Ladyhope Somerset]

Hi UK Wife
Nice to have another, welcome to the forum. I'm also a carer , my husband was diagnosed about 7 or 8 years ago.
The PTSD Forum Jimmy referred you to was where I started, so much useful reading.

Have you heard of Combat Stress, the specialist centre for ex-service personnel with PTSD? There are also a few support groups and carers groups dotted about. Whereabouts in the UK are you? We live in SW England.

Looking forward to talking with you.

 

[Toria]

Hi guys - thank you for the replies.

Jimmy - that actually makes a lot of sense - thank you. I'm glad you mentioned driving - he gets so angry with other drivers. Mind you, he also got very angry with the Christmas tree at the weekend... I will definately look at your link.

Hello Resilientgirl! Combat Stress was my first port of call when it happened and I will forever be grateful to them... but going to Audley Court seems to make him more frustrated than ever! The last time he was there he had a room next to a guy who slept all day and played loud music all night so he got no sleep at all (not that he sleeps much anyway) and found that there were a lot of guys there who were in it just looking for a war pension :-( Not that there's anything wrong with a War Pension - but he said that he'd go to group sessions on the Monday, they'd talk through symptoms and the following day all the lads had developed these symptoms! He wont take medication for it, or to help him sleep, so we've pretty much reached a dead end treatment-wise.

We're in Yorkshire, so opposite end of the country from you,

It's nice knowing that there are others like us out there - thank you both x

 

[BV101]

Hang in there! We are in Yorkshire, but I'm not sure my wife will be much help. She just keeps telling me to get a grip on myself.

 

[Ladyhope Somerset]

Combat Stress was my first port of call when it happened and I will forever be grateful to them.

I totally agree UK Wife and we have been helped a lot by their Regional Welfare Support visitors.

My husband's had 2 admissions to Combat Stress in Leatherhead and would have liked an out patient appointment for a review but that wasn't possible, they wanted him to have the 7 day admission for re-assessment. He couldn't face that because last time, maybe 30 months ago, there was a dramatic increase of newly diagnosed patients who were quite loud & chaotic whereas he needs peace and quiet.

I've made a few enquiries about respite care through the RBL but haven't found anything suitable yet. It takes extra energy to follow through on this sort of research which can be very frustrating when you get to the 5th, 6th, 7th phone call and you find yourself no further forward. That's a relief getting that off my chest. It takes so much effort sometimes to get nowhere!

I'm sure tablets can help, especially for depression and anxiety but I think talking therapy holds a lot of the keys but that means opening up and that's a big decision.

Looking forward to chatting with you again.

best wishes for 2011

RG

 

[Jimmy1]

Just a quick one with regards to medication.
I know a lot of veterans including myself hate medication because they alter your reflex and response; however, realistically they are a blessing when you first start working with therapy towards PTSD.

Some veterans I know have managed to wean themselves off medication and are leading semi normal lives, yet others I know have substituted medication for alcohol and other drugs (I was once one of those).
Yet there are others that will be on medication for the rest of their lives.

Personally though, for those who have just been diagnosed, please accept help from those who know. The medication will calm the mind and help you sleep.

Once you have managed to find a good therapist though, you will find that you can reduce your medication.

Just my opinion.

Jimmy

 

[wife of]

Just bit the bullet and signed up after coming across this forum and finding your post,have been searching for weeks for support and info in the Uk,been caring for my squaddie for both 6 yrs in service and 14 yrs since being med discharged,hubby is physicaly disabled due to back injuries and has been suffering with low level ptsd for all these years misdiagnosed by useless GPs as depression,things gradualy spiraled out of control over the last year and culminated in Humongously big events over the last few months,currently being cared for in a psychiatric intensive care unit whilst they try to find someone who can deal with him.Until a few weeks ago I hadn't realised how much I had been coping with over the years and whilst I know I have done my best for him,I still feel as though I've failed him......but before you all start shouting yes I do know that is daft,hes been left to slip through the cracks by the nhs,and because he did not serve in either the gulf or Afghanistan then he hasn't owned the majic key that makes the medical profession prick up thier ears and I know resettlement procedures have improved greatly in recent years but 15 yrs ago the Army was too quick to just put thier trained soldiers onto the streets and expect them to snap into civilian mode overnight,thats never going to happen after years of conditioning!!

 

[wife of]

By the way i'm in Liverpool uk.

 

[Ladyhope Somerset]

........been caring for my squaddie for both 6 yrs in service and 14 yrs since being med discharged,hubby is physicaly disabled due to back injuries and has been suffering with low level ptsd for all these years misdiagnosed by useless GPs as depression,things gradualy spiraled out of control over the last year and culminated in Humongously big events over the last few months,currently being cared for in a psychiatric intensive care unit whilst they try to find someone who can deal with him.

Welcome "Wife of". It's good you found this forum, it can easily become very isolating living with and caring for someone with PTSD. But here you will find understanding and support.

Mental Health services in the UK are not really geared up yet for PTSD but as said earlier in this thread Combat Stress treats ex armed forces personnel with treatments for PTSD, clinical depression, amxiety states, adjustment disorders, OCD, Bi Polar, alcohol & drug abuse, psychotic conditions & anger problems. Many suffer with more than one condition.

The humongously big events you mention must have been scarey for you both and my hope is that you will take care of yourself and recharge your batteries whilst he is being cared for in hospital.

 

[abnvet]

Welcome to the board. Hope you find discussions of interest.