traumaqueen
New Here
Hiya,
This is gonna be a long one- ?
I stumbled across this site while researching PTSD info. Not entirely sure how this works yet. But I think I found the introductions section? So hi!
Again, not entirely sure what exactly I’m doing on here yet, but figured I’d give it a shot. I’ve been in therapy for about three and a half years, was diagnosed with PTSD and DDNOS, (informally C-PTSD I believe), back in 2016, as a result of years of sexual abuse, among other things.
Over the past few years I’ve done a whole lot of work in therapy/my everyday life in regards to managing my PTSD symptoms, taking meds, workin’ on interpersonal relationship dynamics, boundary work, family of origin work, mitigating unhealthy coping, reducing shame, blah blah blah, etc...(all that Courage to Heal Workbook stuff).
But! And I think this is the big reason I’m reaching out- I still feel like I have an insurmountable amount of shit to work on. I really feel like I’ve been on a months-long plateau in therapy lately, (love my therapist, not interested in switching), but the issue is, I'm not sure what to even focus on at this point...I know what I need to do and when, I know healthy coping, I understand trauma and its effects thoroughly, I’ve disclosed plenty of stuff to friends who are wonderfully supportive....
And stiiiiiillll!! I’m having freakin’ intrusive thoughts and nightmares and flashbacks. I still wanna drink, (and do drink), when that happens. I know I still feel all those negative beliefs regarding the abuse, even though logically I don’t believe them. And there are plenty of things I still can’t say to my therapist, despite my deep trust in her and years- worth of rapport. I still feel shame. I still can’t disclose to my parents what happened. I still drink to cope. I still have intrusive symptoms. I still have urges to SI (but haven’t in years).
So, uh, I guess that’s my life long-winded introduction?
Basically, has anyone been at this point before and surpassed it??? Any advice?? Next steps? Motivational stuff?
I don’t feel ~healed~ even though I’ve done all the right things, nearly textbook-style. I’m frustrated and disheartened and worried all this trauma will very prominently affect me until I die ?
Thanks for those who read through this whole dang thing! And thank you to those who took the time to skim it!
Best,
Alice (my username is my bitter humor, sorry).
——————————————————————
TLDR; I’m new here, joined because frustration around stagnation re therapy and healing from CSA. Any advice?
This is gonna be a long one- ?
I stumbled across this site while researching PTSD info. Not entirely sure how this works yet. But I think I found the introductions section? So hi!
Again, not entirely sure what exactly I’m doing on here yet, but figured I’d give it a shot. I’ve been in therapy for about three and a half years, was diagnosed with PTSD and DDNOS, (informally C-PTSD I believe), back in 2016, as a result of years of sexual abuse, among other things.
Over the past few years I’ve done a whole lot of work in therapy/my everyday life in regards to managing my PTSD symptoms, taking meds, workin’ on interpersonal relationship dynamics, boundary work, family of origin work, mitigating unhealthy coping, reducing shame, blah blah blah, etc...(all that Courage to Heal Workbook stuff).
But! And I think this is the big reason I’m reaching out- I still feel like I have an insurmountable amount of shit to work on. I really feel like I’ve been on a months-long plateau in therapy lately, (love my therapist, not interested in switching), but the issue is, I'm not sure what to even focus on at this point...I know what I need to do and when, I know healthy coping, I understand trauma and its effects thoroughly, I’ve disclosed plenty of stuff to friends who are wonderfully supportive....
And stiiiiiillll!! I’m having freakin’ intrusive thoughts and nightmares and flashbacks. I still wanna drink, (and do drink), when that happens. I know I still feel all those negative beliefs regarding the abuse, even though logically I don’t believe them. And there are plenty of things I still can’t say to my therapist, despite my deep trust in her and years- worth of rapport. I still feel shame. I still can’t disclose to my parents what happened. I still drink to cope. I still have intrusive symptoms. I still have urges to SI (but haven’t in years).
So, uh, I guess that’s my life long-winded introduction?
Basically, has anyone been at this point before and surpassed it??? Any advice?? Next steps? Motivational stuff?
I don’t feel ~healed~ even though I’ve done all the right things, nearly textbook-style. I’m frustrated and disheartened and worried all this trauma will very prominently affect me until I die ?
Thanks for those who read through this whole dang thing! And thank you to those who took the time to skim it!
Best,
Alice (my username is my bitter humor, sorry).
——————————————————————
TLDR; I’m new here, joined because frustration around stagnation re therapy and healing from CSA. Any advice?