Hello, I Am An Incest Survivor

[treetop]

I suppose that was the start. I was a toddler then and I'm in my 50's now. I have been retraumatized so many times that it's difficult to put the story in a nutshell. I haven't had much therapy and although I've read a lot about symptoms, I feel like there is a lot that I don't understand. I work as a home health care aid and was attempting to go back to school. I lost some clients and keeping up in school was very stressful. I had to drop out and I've been mostly dissociated for weeks. That's when I said to myself, I need to get some serious help.

I am pretty isolated. I am still single parenting adult children, one who is bipolar and had some developmental delays and one, like myself, was molested as a toddler. It's sort of a miracle that we function at all.

Thank you for receiving me and I look forward to meeting other survivors.

 

[amethist]

Hi treetop

Welcome to the forum.

We are all survivors on here treetop, whether carers or sufferers, so you will be made welcome by all who read and reply to your introduction. Some will understand your own issues and will offer help, support and advice.

It may be a good idea if you could get some therapy or be able to speak to someone who could give you some other help besides being here.

Read all you feel up to and ask as many questions as you like, someone will answer you or point you in the right direction to find more information to help you out.

Good luck and take care.

Amethist

 

[treetop]

It's difficult to get meaningful therapy in the states with no health insurance. I could never afford a therapist.

 

[Deleted member 541]

Have you tried your local mental health agency to see if you qualify for a reduced rate??? How about your local clergy??? How about looking into any groups for incest survivors??? There are plenty of things that you could try, to see if you can get some help in your community......It all doesn't have to be from a therapist....Any help is better than none at all...

 

[Ronja]

Hello, treetop!

I'm also new here, and also a survivor of incest, among other things.

I second She Cat's suggestion that you could look into community and peer support alternatives - not all therapy funding is "client pays all".

 

[erikjms]

Hi treetop,

I don't know where in the US you are, but unless you live in a very rural area, there are likely to be county/city mental health programs somewhere reasonably nearby. Barring that, many therapists work on a sliding scale, only charging according to a client's ability to pay. If you would like to find a therapist, it is almost always possible to find someone who is either already fully or partially paid for or who charges sliding scale fees. Calling your closest Department of Public Health would definitely tell you if any municipally-funded programs were available; a mental health hotline would be likely to be able to direct you to private practitioners who do work for reduced fees.

You might also look online or in any weekly newspapers you have where you are for support groups that are low- or no-cost. Dealing with this stuff without any face-to-face help can be difficult, to say the least.

Best of luck.

Erik

 

[Manic11]

Welcome treetop!

Good for you for getting help. That's a very hard but very important step. I wish you the best on your healing journey.

Take care of yourself. You deserve it!

Manic

 

[ISupportHer]

Treetop,

Thank you for your courage to post. Welcome and I hope you will find even part of the support so many here feel.

ISH

 

[treetop]

O gosh, I feel a bit of a "vent" coming on. I'm not exactly sure what I could hope to achieve in therapy. I mean, I really don't know. My sorted experience with the County Mental Health has been, in my opinion, a complete waste of time. It takes a good month to get through the intake process, in which I have to drudge up my story which is upsetting in itself, and then I get to try to figure out this stranger and what their take on things is. At no point do I get to interview them and find out what their credentials are, I am assigned to someone. I don't know where they are going or how they plan to get there. Usually we spend a good couple of months focusing on personal responsibility, as though some lack of parenting is the reason I sought out therapy. At that point, the therapists that I have had, leave to take better paying jobs. I don't trust myself in a group ... I don't know. The last thing I need is to have to police someone to determine if they really know what the heck they're doing. I am barely able to keep my crappy part time job and a sliding scale is just south of what might be the corner of the map. I'll have to give it all more thought. Perhaps ...

 

[Ellen]

There's a 12-step group called Survivors of Incest Anonymous. They have a website. If you can't find an in-person meeting, I think they have phone meetings.

 

[candybon]

treetop,

YOU SHOULD BE INTERVIEWING THERAPIST's. They work for YOU. After being practically a POW in my home for 12years suffering beatings, rape, molestation at least 3-5 times a week, I can tell you-For you to be 50 and have been able to make it to 50, maybe some ups and downs I am sure....but give yourself credit for what you HAVE done. OMG you have raised 3 children!!!!!!! Having PTSD sucks. But look back in your life and really note your accomplishmemts. Whether in therapy or not, you should be saying nice things about yourself everyday. I have PTSD severely along with other disorders. My incest caused me to be mentally disabled. I do hope you find someone to talk to. But I have to be honest. YES it is painful to go back and talk about it sometimes. The other day after therapy I cried so hard that I got a migraine and vomited really bad. Good luck on finding a therarpist. Your're pretty much dead on with state therapists..........everyone I met was worthless but one, but she was like a needle in a hay stack.