I retired from the CF in 99 and immediately began a "Charlie Sheen" lifestyle that resulted, a couple of years later, with my pic appearing on the evening news. The story was not about good citizenship. I knew I needed to get help. That began a 10 year search that has led me here. I'm currently doing CBT at an OSI clinic. Shrink said that being part of a team investigating mass graves in Bosnia in 97 was the tipping point that began my slide into full-blown PTSD. Those dreams are the worst ones. Many days, I feel that normalcy is something that I'll never know again.