Oh, Bok - I wish I had a solution for you. I hate to be an *ss but your friend needs to take responsibility for himself and not get into situations where you have to compromise your sanity. Maybe together you can work on plans and scenarios so you don't have to worry so much about him. Identify other resources he can rely on as well so it's not all on your shoulders. You can't save him - he has to help save himself. And you have to save yourself. It sounds like a horrible situation you're in and I wish dearly I had more for you, but I just don't know.....