Supporter Help With Gf That Has Ptsd

[Ron66]

Hi my name is Ron. My girlfriend suffers from PTSD and is Bipolar. The PTSD is the result of being raped by her neighbour as a little girl and she was raped in the Marines by 3 other service guys at the same time. She had turned to drugs in the past but is on her way to recovery from that. She also goes to counselling once a week for her PTSD.

We both love each other very much but there are times where I doubt her feelings towards me. She has been physically, mentally and emotionally abused by her ex-husband and the other men she had dated before me. She tells me I am so good to her and appreciates my understanding about what she has gone through and is still going through.

In the beginning of our relationship it was so wonderful with lots of intimacy and closeness. Now she has pulled back some and says she needs time to herself to heal more but still wants to be in a relationship with me. I have been reading so much on PTSD that I truly understand a lot of why she needs time to herself and why she has pulled back from intimacy for now. I am willing to deal with this and help her through anything and be there to support her.

I am a single father raising my 2 daughters ages 8 & 9 by myself. My girls love her to death and she loves them too and is so good with them. There are times I feel I can't handle the emotional roller coaster I'm on dealing with her issues, but I really love and care for her so much and want to spend the rest of my life with her. She has talked about marriage next spring and has even set up a Christian couples retreat for us to go to next month to help more with our relationship.

There are times when I text her goodnight or good morning and don't hear back from her. I broke it off with her for a few months because I found out she cheated on me this year, but found out the guy was another control freak and abusive and came back to me to work things out. She tells me not to worry about us, everything is fine and not to doubt her feelings towards me.

I just did an intake yesterday to get counselling for myself to help me with my anxiety and emotions with her and to learn how better to deal with her PTSD. It's very difficult when you love and care for someone so much and at times don't really know where you stand with them. I'm just really confused about us at times and I know how she is acting is normal for people with PTSD. I found this forum while reading a book called Shock Waves and thought I'd join and look for some help with you all.

 

[nursenurse]

She's cheated on you. Him being a control freak is no excuse. How can you not worry about the state of your affairs? Use your counselling time wisely, to find out about you, what you want, and most importantly, what your girls need. Someone who emotionally abuses their father would not be on my ideal Mom list, and cheating is nothing less than emotional abuse, and to me, is a whole lot worse than that.To actively pursue someone who has shown themselves to be a cheater, which usually goes hand in hand with being a liar, is showing the wrong message to your daughters, both in the way your girlfriend is treating you, and your acceptance of the bad treatment/behaviour. Your girls may not know details, but they are far more intuitive than you think.

Things are not fine, and I am so glad you are seeking counselling for yourself. Kudos to her for her continuing treatment for her PTSD. You have to remember, though, that there are no guarantees that anything will change, and it will always be difficult at the best of times. She may be talking marriage, but I would wait, there is a lot more than just you at stake.

 

[Hashi]

Welcome to the forum, Ron66.

It sounds like you have a lot to work through in your relationship, and for yourself individually. You seem to be taking good steps to find information and support - hopefully to help yourself as much as to help your girlfriend. It's great that you've started counselling.

I'm a sufferer and I know how it is to feel distant, withdrawn and wanting space. Your girlfriend is lucky to have your support and understanding. At the same time, you still need to set boundaries in the relationship and have your own expectations of it for yourself and your daughters. I hope that counselling and being on the forum will help you.

 

[pastisgone]

Ron follow your heart I hope counseling works for you. Nothing says any where that a person who cheated once may not change. Just tread carefully but don't walk on egg shells. Wish you the best.

 

[intothelight]

Welcome to MyPTSD forum!

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

Welcome to the forum. :)