Relationship Hiding PTSD for almost 15 years in our marriage

[Linawilks]

My husband is a combat veteran. He has always been very independent and not very open or emotional. We had been married for 15 years, 2 kids, career change out of the Army, several moves, etc. He started acting weird out of the blue and blurted out that he hated himself, that he was going to hell for the things he did in combat, and that he wanted to die every day for the last 15 years.
I was blown away and hurt that he kept such a huge part of his life a secret. I told him if he didn’t get counseling and deal, then I wasn’t going to spend my life with someone who didn’t value their own and want to work towards building ours together. He sought therapy and claims he is over all of it now. This happened about 5 years ago. I am still so deeply hurt and angry at him to keeping this from me. I want to move on and get over it, but I cannot look at him the same. Am I wrong here? How do I get past him lying to me for 15 years. I feel like I don’t even know him?

 

[Friday]

Have you talked about your… grossest poop? 19th friend you ditched in grade school? Why you dislike (pick a color)? less than the colors you actually dislike, but more than the colors you like?

LIAR!!! HOW DARE YOU BUILD A RELATIONSHIP BASED ON LIES!?!

Shrug. That’s how much PTSD matters to people who had a difficult time for a few days/weeks/whatever YEARS AGO. Burny foamy diarrhea, a mediocre acquaintance, a distasteful shade of mauve. And then? Nada. Normal. No reason to think differently,h

How much have YOU lied in your relationship? About something stupid & long passed, then, but maybe vital now? (All the times you got sunburnt as a kid, and didn’t think twice, but now have skin cancer? Something that was a non-issue at the time, but is now effecting both you & everyone around you?)

You devious, horrific, LIAR, you! …or not. Normal human, who didn’t think twice, about something that was a non-issue.

His PTSD? Was a NON-ISSUE, in his life, and your life, and your lives… until it was.

So now?

YOU HORRIFIC SLUT! HOW DARE YOU!!!

Or?

Not.

5 years later & you’re not only angry about a decade of peace, but VENOMOUS?

Really?

That’s speaks more to you stuff than him stuff. 5 YEARS is an absurdly long time to be angry at someone, much less angry at someone for something they didn’t know about, at the time.