ILoveLife
VIP Member
Oh, I'm having a terrible time finding a good vet hospital for my kitty. Bah... probabilities aside, they all seem to suck.
Yes, it's mostly grey or colorful lol
Yes, it's mostly grey or colorful lol
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How can a psychiatrist help me?
- Post starter MyWillow
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blackemerald1
VIP Member
@MyWillow you certainly have seen quite enough of doctors etc., :hug:
So the absence of memories in your childhood that you think you should remember may mean you are really very good at blocking stuff out. But the mind will have it's way so best to try and do a controlled release hey?
It doesn't take much to get p** off with the rip a script mentality that a lot of Doctors give, so I can see why trust there would ringing alarm bells. However again your T said she knows this psydoc and I put more faith in knowing the connection than usual I think.
I'm glad you are getting some assistance with the sleep. Re-establishing just that one thing can sometimes bring other symptoms down from peeling of the sealing to manageable.
So the absence of memories in your childhood that you think you should remember may mean you are really very good at blocking stuff out. But the mind will have it's way so best to try and do a controlled release hey?
It doesn't take much to get p** off with the rip a script mentality that a lot of Doctors give, so I can see why trust there would ringing alarm bells. However again your T said she knows this psydoc and I put more faith in knowing the connection than usual I think.
That's a good way to be with almost everything really.
I don't know how many days and nights I would have blotted out with the bottle if alcohol didn't make me physically sick. So no judgement from me. That's a sad thing to admit to :cautious: but there you go I just did...:oops:
I'm glad you are getting some assistance with the sleep. Re-establishing just that one thing can sometimes bring other symptoms down from peeling of the sealing to manageable.
- Post starter
- #15
MyWillow
Platinum Member
Thank you. I feel much more settled about taking this step. I need manageable badly. I have a great - but demanding - job, I need to finish my studies and I just want to train/compete with my dogs. All those things are such a struggle right now. Sometimes I’m so angry with my T for having the WORST. TIMING. EVER. But when I’m not feeling full of rage and fear I can acknowledge that there was never going to be a good time to open that Pandora’s Box. f*ck it.
- Post starter
- #16
MyWillow
Platinum Member
I went to the trouble of seeing my GP for a referral. Just made an appointment for 2 months hence. First available. Seems a very, very long way away.
I’m actually feeling incredibly angry right now. No one asked me if I wanted to dig up the past. All I wanted was some coping mechanisms for pain management after a series of accidents. My T appointments are all over the place. Sometimes monthly, sometimes every 2 weeks. That’s a lot of time in between to pretend I’m doing fine at work. To have no sleep. To have flashbacks and nightmares that no one wants to talk about. And that’s only the half of it. “Ohhh but you’re so resilient” everyone keeps saying. “It’s just your brain playing tricks on you” says my T. So over the whole damn shit fight. Sorry for the rant.
I’m actually feeling incredibly angry right now. No one asked me if I wanted to dig up the past. All I wanted was some coping mechanisms for pain management after a series of accidents. My T appointments are all over the place. Sometimes monthly, sometimes every 2 weeks. That’s a lot of time in between to pretend I’m doing fine at work. To have no sleep. To have flashbacks and nightmares that no one wants to talk about. And that’s only the half of it. “Ohhh but you’re so resilient” everyone keeps saying. “It’s just your brain playing tricks on you” says my T. So over the whole damn shit fight. Sorry for the rant.
EveHarrington
VIP Member
IIRC we don’t live in the same country so that will make a difference.
Swift
Diamond Member
Never apologise for a rant!
So, instead of telling you personal experience, I might just tell you how a psychiatrist differs from a therapist.
Apologies if you already know.
To become qualified as a psychiatrist, you do your 5 years of med school, then 2 as a registrar (hospital environment.)
Then you do 2 years of 80h a week psych specialty. And then 2 as a psych registrar, and 4 supervised (where I am.)
The result is that your psychiatrist understands more about medications, but also more about hardcore abnormal psych stuff, like dissociation.
Your psychiatrist is a doctor first and a therapist second.
They're more nuts-and-bolts of brain workings, generally.
Of course they are all different.
But yeah, you might benefit from having one on your team. It's worth a shot.
So, instead of telling you personal experience, I might just tell you how a psychiatrist differs from a therapist.
Apologies if you already know.
To become qualified as a psychiatrist, you do your 5 years of med school, then 2 as a registrar (hospital environment.)
Then you do 2 years of 80h a week psych specialty. And then 2 as a psych registrar, and 4 supervised (where I am.)
The result is that your psychiatrist understands more about medications, but also more about hardcore abnormal psych stuff, like dissociation.
Your psychiatrist is a doctor first and a therapist second.
They're more nuts-and-bolts of brain workings, generally.
Of course they are all different.
But yeah, you might benefit from having one on your team. It's worth a shot.
- Post starter
- #19
- Post starter
- #20
MyWillow
Platinum Member
Just reading “Treating Trauma Related Dissociation”. Terrifyingly I can recognise my own resistance, phobias etc and I think my T has bitten off more than she can chew. Whilst I really like her I’m not sure she has this shit covered.
That book actually helped influence me to seek out a new therapist with more experience dealing with my specific issues. Reading it was a very scary experience for me, too. I kept recognizing more and more of myself in it as I read.
- Post starter
- #22
MyWillow
Platinum Member
@Nessa7 very much appreciate your comment. I’m definitely not DID but am realising I have dissociated parts that do get in the way of therapy and get caught up in flashbacks etc.
What concerns me is that we never discussed unraveling the past as a goal and I had other things in my life that needed sorting. Like my studies and healing from injury and pain. So discovering all this without being prepared has been terrifying and destabilising. Plus my PhD remains unfinished. My GP says I’ve got anxiety. My partner thinks I’m depressed. I’m worse not better. My T seems to overestimate my resources when in fact I’m just used to putting on a mask. There’s a part that keeps warning me not to “go there” for my own safety and now I know why.
And reading the book is making me realise that we never discuss the parts although we have discussed the theory. I’ve had a bunch of coping behaviours pop up which I never felt comfortable raising with my T. Because you know, I’m a professional and no one in my life wants to know I’m struggling so I hide all that. Drinking too much, restricted eating, isolating, hitting, wanting the pain to go away - whatever form that took - and she has never opened the door to discussing those behaviours as normal responses or possible risks in view of the internal conflict and chaos.
What concerns me is that we never discussed unraveling the past as a goal and I had other things in my life that needed sorting. Like my studies and healing from injury and pain. So discovering all this without being prepared has been terrifying and destabilising. Plus my PhD remains unfinished. My GP says I’ve got anxiety. My partner thinks I’m depressed. I’m worse not better. My T seems to overestimate my resources when in fact I’m just used to putting on a mask. There’s a part that keeps warning me not to “go there” for my own safety and now I know why.
And reading the book is making me realise that we never discuss the parts although we have discussed the theory. I’ve had a bunch of coping behaviours pop up which I never felt comfortable raising with my T. Because you know, I’m a professional and no one in my life wants to know I’m struggling so I hide all that. Drinking too much, restricted eating, isolating, hitting, wanting the pain to go away - whatever form that took - and she has never opened the door to discussing those behaviours as normal responses or possible risks in view of the internal conflict and chaos.
- Post starter
- #23
MyWillow
Platinum Member
Appointment was today.
I’m so terribly exhausted and drained but damn she’s good. Really good. Meds are a minimal part of what she does. Wants to see me 3-4 more times for a full assessment so I can make an informed choice and she can refer me on if she feels it to be necessary. Said I can’t do this alone and my old coping mechanisms are past their use by date. It’s going to be a long process. And I’m going to get worse before I get better. But there’s much room for growth. Wants me to consider her and my T as my team.
I can’t keep living my life like this so I’m going to make those follow up appointments. Current T would like me to do some equine therapy as well so it might be a good fit.
I’m so terribly exhausted and drained but damn she’s good. Really good. Meds are a minimal part of what she does. Wants to see me 3-4 more times for a full assessment so I can make an informed choice and she can refer me on if she feels it to be necessary. Said I can’t do this alone and my old coping mechanisms are past their use by date. It’s going to be a long process. And I’m going to get worse before I get better. But there’s much room for growth. Wants me to consider her and my T as my team.
I can’t keep living my life like this so I’m going to make those follow up appointments. Current T would like me to do some equine therapy as well so it might be a good fit.
ILoveLife
VIP Member
I'm glad it went well :)
I think this is good for you in other ways too, like being able to take that step forward in trusting them (and yourself) to talk about your trauma. It's easier when we feel supported.
I think this is good for you in other ways too, like being able to take that step forward in trusting them (and yourself) to talk about your trauma. It's easier when we feel supported.
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