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Sexual Assault How Do I Fight All This

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Sweetz

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In 2015 my life was turned upside down
After getting out of a controlling and a physically and emotional 8 year relationships my children father took them for the weekend Jan 2015 and refused to give them back then on mothers day my house was broken into I spiked raped on mother's day and harrassed so much I got it on voice recorder him admitting what he done I couldn't go to the police because I was so scared it would go against me in court
I had delt with everything on my own I was an emotional wreck in court their father got residential rights I got 4 days 3 nights with them court order in June then he moved them 300 miles away in July his sister boyfriend and 2 of his friends spiked me and tock me to the woods threatening to kill me while they held rope and hacksaws I was so scared I lost control of my bawls and then had to endure the bus ride home with people laughing and pointing at me I isolated myself until I was moved into a women's safe house closer to my children that's when I found out they had filmed me when the spiked me tock pics and put me all over the internet saying I gave everybody genital warts and I abused my children saying I slept with my brother I started getting abuse of strangers by ptsd was getting worse the flash backs and nightmare made me relive it over and over then when my children father found out I was closer he refused me any kind of contact with my children turning them so against me alienating me from there lives I then tock an over dose writing letters to my loved ones I remember waking up and crying coz I woke up I carried on taking pills but started talking to people on this chat site where I meet this guy I told him everything he came to see me he was so understanding and charming got me out my house supported me through my anxiety held my hand saying he didn't care what they thought then he started beating me on new years Eve just gone he tried again but I fought back he stranged me and bite my finger to the bone it was hanging off an ambulance driver seeing someone else heard me screaming for help he saved my life that night I was rushed into an operation because I was high risk of infection because it was a human bite he was arrested for actual accusing body harm I was moved to another safe house started getting my life back on track then yesterday I found out the hate page was over here to so my anxiety and nervous are off the scale I was called a filthy slut by one car and an ugly bitch by the other and I have court later on today to fight my ex for my children I'm scared to close my eyes again scared of what my nightmares will bring me how do I carry on when it's happening all over again?
 
Is it right to bring my children into all this although I love them so very much and we had such a great bond am I being selfish bring them into this when I'm over the internet getting abuse from stranger I can prove what they did to me and I got std and smears to prove it all lies but no one wants to listen no one wants to hear my side they just want to abuse me
 
Do you have a lawyer for the court case? What is the lawyer advising you to do? Also, where is this hate page being hosted online? If it's on Facebook or some other social media site, they will probably take it down if you tell them (vaguely) that it's at the center of an ongoing court case and legal action.
 
No I'm representing myself but I do go to court with a domestic violence worker who advises me I had a soilistor and barrister last time they didn't say what I wanted them to, I don't know where it is but strangers have told me and others have abused me coz of it they seem to find me very easy even though I'm moved from safe house to safe house
When I get legal advice they say it will do more damage to them not being in there lives as we did have a very good bond they deserve me in there lives and it's going to do them more harm knowing I left them with him and didn't fight when I knew what he was capable of
 
I won the case he show he was was alienateing me to the judge and he has a controlling personality my children now have social services involved where mental health checks will be done on them that's 1 of my devils taken care of next court case is the guy that beat me stranged me and bite my finger off in June
 
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