How Do I Tell My Therapist This?

[Rumors]

I completely understand because it is hard for me to bring up things I need to as well. You could also print off this forum page and hand it to him. Might make the words easier!! Hang in there!

 

[bitterfight_]

I agree with Rumors idea. I had trouble telling my therapist about my suicidal thoughts, and spent weeks to months thinking of how I should bring it up with her, but I just started with how Rumors put it, and the conversation went from there. It's going to be hard, but you can do it.

 

[TimeToHeal]

@Justmehere, first, I'm so sorry you find yourself struggling with self injury again. It's a feeling I know well. I recently had a "relapse" myself, after years of thinking and saying it was something that, "I used to do."

It somehow feels much worse, and more shameful, to find yourself falling back into old habits. At least it did for me.

I think you nailed it when you said you needed to strengthen your *positive* coping skills. Self injury is definitely a (negative) coping mechanism - and let's face it, it works. But it's not good for us. And other things can work as well, but they do take practice and patience (which I know, don't come easily)!

I think it is important that you tell your therapist what's really going on with you. I can't imagine she would quit - she wouldn't be a very effective, and frankly, not a very good trauma therapist, I'd she were to quit on every patient who
exhibited these, or similar, symptoms/behaviors. And if she did/does do that, then she seriously needs to consider a career change! :eek:

Do whatever it takes to let her know. "Secrets keep us sick."

:hug: to you...

 

[Justmehere]

I had my appointment. I didn't tell her. :(

I told her I wasn't coping well. I told her I was really really struggling. I got really quiet. We talking through ways to "resource" and about positive coping skills... and she said, "You got this. You know these skills." She suggested a few specific ones, and some times to check in on the phone the next week, which I'm not sure I will use, but it helps just to know.

I tried to bring up the form to go to the treatment center. I couldn't. I had it with me, but I left it in my bag. She saw I was struggling to say something, and she said I could call or text her later on about it if that would help.

If at first you don't succeed, try again... and again... :(

 

[TimeToHeal]

@Justmehere it's ok, don't be too hard on yourself. I get stuck trying to say things out loud sometimes too. I often email my therapist when that happens.

Maybe you could try writing it out in an email to her? Don't go back and read over it time and time again, or try to make it sound perfect - that just gives you time to second guess yourself and change your mind. :banghead: Just type it out quickly and hit 'send'!

The sooner you get it over with, the sober you'll have one less thing weighing on your mind.

:hug: to you @Justmehere.

 

[Jane.l]

@TimeToHeal that type and press send is so familiar to me - you are so right - when it's something that's hard. Write don't over think it - send it and then it's done. I work best on impulse otherwise I will talk myself out of what needs to be said.

@Justmehere you told her you weren't coping so well - well done - now you have said that it will be easier to bring up your negative coping methods - it's not too late - just press send - it will be ok

 

[Justmehere]

I've asked her twice on text to refer me to the out of state program, I flat out told her I wanted to die - I simply just don't know of a 100% lethal way and I'm afraid I will fail and end up a vegetable stuck in a hospital for the rest of my life. She called and asked about my suicidal thoughts more... But not my request to go out to the out of state program and I had no courage to bring it up.

We did some somatic work? And I felt better for a day, and now I'm in this dark mindset all over.

She understood my suicidal thoughts to be a sign of overwhelm. So her approach is anything to help me be less overwhelmed and reduce the PTSD - which is good! But it's not lasting very long.

I can't seem to tell her I have a history of self injury and it's back. Not even on text. She will be so disappointed and not believe in me anymore.

I am almost thinking of seeing a new therapist, but I don't even know where to start. I really like mine, I just can't seem to tell her or talk.

 

[Tinyflame]

What would you want/ look for in a new T that would make it easier to speak of?

I don't have helpful words unfortunately, but just to say I have regressed to behaviours I thought were gone 25+ years ago. You aren't alone in that. Thankfully less so and somewhat less severe than then, but baffling and self-esteem destroying none the less. Brings up SI too. :(

 

[Justmehere]

@Junebug I wonder if I could just start off telling the new T I have self injury and here's this treatment program out of state I want to go to. For some odd reason I find it easy to tell an almost-stranger about this stuff, but not someone who knows me. Like my therapist.

It is a pretty dumb idea actually. I'm so stuck. For me, it feels so hopeless to be back where I was. Only this time, I can't seem to communicate it successfully with my therapist now. No fault of hers!

I'm sorry you have had a setback too - :hug:

 

[Tinyflame]

I don't know what you require to get in to the program or the waiting list, but as others have said it is important to be honest. Perhaps you could say that it is very difficult to say this, but you have found yourself returning to self-harming behaviours. You know about this program, you would like to go (if you do), and what does she think? And also, if perhaps she can help you get in to it? (I don't know how these things work, if you need a recommendation).

Good luck :hug: .

 

[Justmehere]

I just looked over the forms. All it requires is that I put down my referring providers name, and then I fill out the rest, and they call the doctor or therapist that is referring me. I called my psychiatrist, and because he is very new, I was able to tell HIM everything. :(

I filled it out. I put down my medical doctor as the referring doctor and my therapist as my therapist... I could send it as is, and... ugh. I don't even know if they will take me and this will freak her out if I send it and don't tell her I sent it. But I don't even know if they will take me. I could be worried over nothing.

 

[Justmehere]

I just now sent it in to the admissions coordinator.