How Do You Get Over a Toxic Ex?

TruthSeeker

MyPTSD Pro
@Nuance Your last post concerned me......because I had a similar situation I left....and when I did engage out of necessity, I only got hurt more....so I quickly learned to stay disengaged. You had no need to engage him......

So, why did you put yourself out there intentionally, knowing your open letters could start up or potentially increase the drama you say you are glad you left? .....and possibly decrease your safety if you piss him off enough? If he's running on the narcissistic or sociopathic end of the spectrum, and gets bored, you are a potential target and will be till he finds another suitable victim.....and if you are going to bait him......you haven't let go or checked those negative feelings that made you write (AND POST).....you could be setting yourself up for more drama, more pain, more hurt. Nothing you say to the man you describe in this thread, will change him......inflame him yeah....maybe, maybe make him feel more important cause you are taking your time to write about him........ and no matter what you write or say, he will interpret it the way that will make him feel the best, because he's all about control, manipulation and himself......as I read in your description.

Nothing you say to him will change the way you feel, or will right what is wrong. Leaving behind visible evidence....like in written post where he is likely to read it and respond.... keeps you connected with him? Is that what you want? What's the point....I got the impression he was a real dog........posting where he is likely to read something is a way for you to inflame him over and over.....it's there permanently and there forever....for him to go back to and loop on-I'd think your goal would be for him to forget you so you feel safe..........but connecting with him....... it could have dangerous consequences if he said he'd hurt you and you were really afraid of him. Consider moving on, considering he is ill, and consider living without drama and not connecting with him anymore in anyway....only then...can you be free of him and begin to put your past behind you. Lastly, consider writing letters, but not sending..... ............that is...........unless you are needing a drama fix.....in which case.....you must send to get that??? Your not done with him (IMHO) until you disconnect from him for good.....be well, stay safe.
 

Nuance

Learning
@Nuance Your last post concerned me......because I had a similar situation I left....and when I did engage out of necessity, I only got hurt more....so I quickly learned to stay disengaged. You had no need to engage him......

So, why did you put yourself out there intentionally, knowing your open letters could start up or potentially increase the drama you say you are glad you left? .....and possibly decrease your safety if you piss him off enough? If he's running on the narcissistic or sociopathic end of the spectrum, and gets bored, you are a potential target and will be till he finds another suitable victim.....and if you are going to bait him......you haven't let go or checked those negative feelings that made you write (AND POST).....you could be setting yourself up for more drama, more pain, more hurt. Nothing you say to the man you describe in this thread, will change him......inflame him yeah....maybe, maybe make him feel more important cause you are taking your time to write about him........ and no matter what you write or say, he will interpret it the way that will make him feel the best, because he's all about control, manipulation and himself......as I read in your description.

Nothing you say to him will change the way you feel, or will right what is wrong. Leaving behind visible evidence....like in written post where he is likely to read it and respond.... keeps you connected with him? Is that what you want? What's the point....I got the impression he was a real dog........posting where he is likely to read something is a way for you to inflame him over and over.....it's there permanently and there forever....for him to go back to and loop on-I'd think your goal would be for him to forget you so you feel safe..........but connecting with him....... it could have dangerous consequences if he said he'd hurt you and you were really afraid of him. Consider moving on, considering he is ill, and consider living without drama and not connecting with him anymore in anyway....only then...can you be free of him and begin to put your past behind you. Lastly, consider writing letters, but not sending..... ............that is...........unless you are needing a drama fix.....in which case.....you must send to get that??? Your not done with him (IMHO) until you disconnect from him for good.....be well, stay safe.
You're completely right. I was incredibly angry and I lashed out. Thank you for talking some sense into me.
 
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