How does your t handle transference?

[UnicornSightings]

and also, do most of you have transference? I mean, I know it’s something we all do but in a way that takes center stage in session. I decided to go with the new t that I’m afraid of. I think it will be really good to work out my issues with men and it would be cool to have a different perspective on things from him vs the woman contender whose style was a lot like my old t and who I felt almost too comfortable with. I like the unknown. Anyway I’m nervous because I sent him an email about the transference that will inevitably and is already happening. Basically asking him how he views it and if he can handle it. I can deal with the feelings and thoughts I just need someone to listen to it all and not make me feel crazy, I’m pretty self-sufficient as a client. But I’m worried he’s gonna be like “uh hell no” lol.

 

[EveHarrington]

I don’t have transference with my current t.

I have had it with past t’s and was like oh hail no.

I’m not going to therapy and spending time/money on issues that only exist in therapy when I can go to another therapist, and work on real world problems that exist in my life.

 

[UnicornSightings]

I don’t have transference with my current t.

I have had it with past t’s and was like oh ha...

See for me, this stuff plays out in my everyday. For bosses, professors, a yoga teacher. Like it’s a part of my life. And I’ve explored a lot of it. I’m super aware of it. But I want to talk about it. So it seems right for me. Plus I don’t want to have to avoid an entire gender the rest of my life! But I guess it depends on your issues.

 

[Emotional girl]

I suppose it depends on whether the transference is negative,positive or erotic transference and the way your therapist deals with it.
I agree with @UnicornSightings we come across different kinds of transference in every day life,in that certain people remind us of other people from our past but maybe because we don't spend so long with them or talk about it with them then it doesn't have such a big impact on us.
I have been working through my erotic transference with my T and it has made me realise why I feel the way I do about him.He basically gives me everything my dad didn't and that is why I am so attached to him.He has also made me realised that I can feel safe with someone from the oppersite gender.
Hopefully your new T will help you work through your transference issues and help you see why you feel the way you do.

 

[Rose White]

I am confused about transference. I do have it. It seems to come and go. I believe I am resisting it currently.

Like @UnicornSightings said, it plays out in my daily life so I have no choice but to face it with T. I never disclosed my transference to past Ts but it was always present. I didn’t have the awareness to talk about it before.

@Emotional girl , my transference with T was/is(?) both maternal and erotic. We started talking about it but then it seemed I was dropping too far down into depression. It didn’t feel good for her to have to walk me to my car because I was so dissociative—she said I was pushing myself too hard so I backed off, sort of stuffed it away and have been focusing on coping skills mostly for the last month. I have been completely avoiding the transference and now it’s brewing again.

I mean, I have grown a lot so far, I can tell. I had transference and then it went away and now it’s coming back again. And during that whole time I have grown. I didn’t expect it to be like that.

During this last month I have been practicing mindfulness and learned about non-identification. I am aware of the rescue fantasy and I challenge my assumptions about it. I intend to be open to receiving help from others while still maintaining my fledgling identity.

So now I plan to (if I am brave enough) try to bring up the transference again. I think, in the past, my T downplayed the transference. When I finally got myself to bring it up and she replied, “Oh, don’t worry, that will go away on it’s own after a while.” Then another time I brought it up again, how attached I felt, and she said something like, “That’s sweet. So how do you plan to nurture yourself this week?”

What I want is to go into it and ask questions of it and follow it to its source. But maybe that’s not really the point. Or maybe she’s waiting for *me* to make it a priority? I don’t know, it’s confusing.

Thank you for asking this question.