How To Cope With People At School

[LongStoryShort]

Hello! I need some advice. I am 37 and have been diagnosed with PTSD a few years ago. I have suffered with the condition in the past and went untreated for a long time and thisis probably why stuff still effects me. I don't find therapy very helpful becauseI feel all you do in therapy is talk to someone who agrees with everything you say. I have found medication helpful though, against dissasotiation, at least that way I can live in the moment. Now after yesrs of not being able to get a job I have gone back to school.

I was targeting work in which I thought I could cope where I don't need to interact with people too much, or that is what I thought. But now I see we have to do some group work. I survived the first groupwork part well, but now I find people are getting on my nerves, and I want to quit every day and spend too much time thinking about things that annoy me. I want to finish, now I have come so far, but this group work is a hurdle and it is making me depressed. I feel one of my "colleagues" is manipulative and it is screwing me over so I want to stay away from her in order not to think negatively. Unfortunately every teacher and a lot of ppl. do not see this and have a very good impression of her, which is why it was suggested I work closely with her. I don't want to seem the grump and negative, but I find it hard to be around her.Then there is one other thing, I kind of feel like people communicate things with each other and I am not told until last. I need to cope so bad! I always quit when things like this happen :-( grateful for any advice. K

Ps.I feel my life is kind of odd, I have like two lives one at home where I feel safe and where I feel my self confidence is normal, and one on the outside where I feel just very insecure and easily frustrated by what others say or do.

 

[LongStoryShort]

Hm. Was kind of hoping for some advice, I guess noone has any. I can understand that. Feel a bit silly for posting now. I think my solution is to stay away from Uni and just read up at home and have minimal contact with the group, then I can cope although miss lectures.

 

[CVC]

Does your university have an office for students with disabilities? I'd start there, if it's an option. They might be able to help you work things out with the professor so you don't have to do group work (for instance).

 

[LongStoryShort]

Hmm. Not that I know of, unfortunately. They do have a student adviser though, I might ask her for advice. I just want to be normal and have a normal life but my mistrust and annoyance with people does get in the way. I have in the past ruined relationships by talking about trauma and anger I really wanted to just get away from it. I have also been accused of venting my soul to make others unhappy, and this is just plain Not True, when you are really hurt to the core the only reason you vent is cause you can't stop. I felt really hurt by being accused of being basically a negative influence for simply "bleeding" all over the place.So I try now to not talk about it at all, and to an extent I am happier cause I have put a lid on everything so it is not a part of my life as such. But it seems to still be almost impossible to never mention it to anyone.At least now I can put it into a four letter abbreviation and say this is why I behave this way. A couple of my study collagues have even told me about their problems, I guess assuming I'm just fine and have no problems. And it makes me want to talk or say something, but I don't want to at the same time, I don't want to start cause then I don't know if I will stop.

 

[LongStoryShort]

It's definitely hard to live a normal life. I never mean to be awkward I want to be regarded as a valuable member of the team, but I end up being awkward or causing awkwardness anyway. I work hard though and I believe that where there is a will there is a way. I just feel sad cause it's so hard for me to just get along and getting along is so important for any job or career. Why can't I just get along! !??!

 

[digger]

They do have a student adviser though, I might ask her for advice

Sounds like a good plan. She should at least be able to advise you of your options.

I don't find therapy very helpful because I feel all you do in therapy is talk to someone who agrees with everything you say.

Perhaps trying again with a different therapist might be helpful. One who has a different approach maybe. It could be good to have someone/somewhere to vent during this time and it might just be the extra bit of support gets you through to the end of your course. How long were you in therapy before?

 

[LongStoryShort]

Perhaps I should try therapy again, but I want to try something other than cognitive therapy. There are several factors that really frustrate me with therapy. 1. Sessions are not long enough to be of any assistance, 2.I fo not see how cognitive therapy will ever help me because I do understand myself I just wish I understood in the big social scheme how to act so I can be regarded someone worth being around. I wish therapists did not always put things down to a self esteem issue, like oh you just feel that way it isn't reality, when to me it clearly is my behavior there is something wrong with.3. I absolutely hate switching therapist. I have explained myself to so many different people, and why do I want to go through it all again, the last therapist I saw didn't even understand why I would not "talk about it" I explained to my new social worker and therapist I do not want to think about anything negative that it only holds me down and back, but they thought my problems would not go away if I do not, I totally disagree I think they will never go away if I don't start thinking positive and forward! I felt I almost let them down for not sharing the details of my trauma.

Anyone who has had any positive experience with other forms of therapy except cognitive? I guess I would be willing to try. I would not like to talk though cause it is like harming myself you know, why do I want to hurt myself :-/ ? I went to therapy for about a couple of years... expencive too.

Sorry about the missing commas and typo's, I'm writing carelessly and on my mobile.

 

[digger]

I want to try something other than cognitive therapy

to me it clearly is my behavior there is something wrong with

I would not like to talk though

Sorry, I'm a little confused now. Although it might just be my (mis)understanding of different therapies.

I thought 'cognitive therapies' (like CBT?) were more behaviour based than focussing on talking about the past? My understanding of it was that it addressed changing your behaviour in the now rather than looking at what has actually caused it?

Do you still have a Social Worker?

 

[digger]

I went to therapy for about a couple of years... expencive too

I don't know where you are or how much difference that makes, but your school/college may have a counsellor you could go to or get referred to?

 

[LongStoryShort]

What you say about cognitive therapy is correct it just has never seemed to be of much help to me, I'm sorry to say this but cognitive therapy makes me feel stupid and I think it is so boring... I get your confusion. I am being a bit confusing. What I wish there was is a form of therapy that is a bit more like practical and with more direct advice. Like I think it would be a good idea to handle it like this or not do that. Basically would be good if someone just every now and then gave some direction. Does that sound weird?

 

[digger]

No not weird :) I think most people would like at least sometimes for someone to tell them exactly and clearly what they need to do, but no, I don't think most therapy works that way.

Perhaps looking at life-coaching rather than therapy or counselling might work better for you? I don't know, I'm not really very knowledgeable abot different types of therapy, it's all a bit new to me really. You could maybe try posting a new thread under the 'therapy' section here to see if anyone else has any suggestions :)

 

[LongStoryShort]

Thank you for your help :-)