goosegoose
Confident
My phobia of connecting with other people is destroying me. This is so much to get through typing. I'm just now starting to understand how severe my intimacy phobia is and I was reading just now that a common root cause is CSA or SA. Without going into details, my CSA was from age ? until maybe around 7, incestuous. how the f*ck do you even keep typing after having to type something like that? I read that the phobia commonly stemmed from trauma related to adult relationships and my body kind of went numb when I put the pieces together. Adults traumatized you as a child so as an adult you're scared of adults, it's unfortunately completely logical. I feel like I've found a possible reason for why I've felt so chronically stuck in therapy. But the thought of addressing this in session makes me want to throw myself into traffic (is that too graphic for this site? I can't afford to get banned haha). I can't even say one word about it without completely melting down and dissociating.
I know for a fact that this has to be addressed sooner or later, but any advice on where to even start would be fantastic. I feel like my blood is replaced with helium any time I think about verbally addressing this with a therapist. But I feel like this shark is about to bite onto my foot and I'm starting to get exhausted from swimming so hard and for so long.
Thanks for checking this out even if you don't reply
goose
I know for a fact that this has to be addressed sooner or later, but any advice on where to even start would be fantastic. I feel like my blood is replaced with helium any time I think about verbally addressing this with a therapist. But I feel like this shark is about to bite onto my foot and I'm starting to get exhausted from swimming so hard and for so long.
Thanks for checking this out even if you don't reply
goose