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How to remember more of your therapy session?

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I think that's true for me too, focus and trust and anxiety and distraction and exhaustion and overwhelm before I even hear anything can interfere with presence and recall.

I think trying to be mindful not only requires practice but also reducing distractions, trust established, a sense of safety, courage to listen or speak, and whatever is helpful.

I think if I can write down or 'see' a few words I can remember more of what it goes back to.

I'm not sure if it's always 'words' but the 'feeling'? As in, for examples, feeling safe matters more than lots of words. Or, self-forgiveness is a concept/ reality to absorb without forever picking it apart. Or quelling the IC is a fact/ 'absence', rather than always being an effort. Etc.

(I'm sorry, having trouble with 'words', hope this makes sense. :( )
 
I can totally relate. I have big sections where I have no memory of what was said. If my T gives advice for strategies or things he would like me to try, I sometimes ask him to email them to me so I can review them later. I am very honest about forgetting or my inability to be attentive due to the stress in the session and he is understanding.
 
Maybe the healing is you start to remember naturally without help. Or you do not have extreme need to recall everything like when you meet with a good friend and you just feel the conversation but not every word.
Or maybe you have a need that is not being met and this need to recall every thing is manifestation of that need.
I wonder what happens if you tell the therapist you have this need
 
I Am try and stick to The same routine for socially distanced therapy as for T office therapy. I ‘arrive ‘ in the same Room fifteen minutes before, having got myself a cup of mint tea and after the session I have a nother hot drink before making the room Available to others again. I literally book the room out like a netting room for two hours . ? ( I use my kitchen because it’s easiest to separate from others and feel private apart from my bedroom.
Yeah,I've got myself into a little routine too. That really helps. Hope your T is going well.

I'm not sure if it's always 'words' but the 'feeling'? As in, for examples, feeling safe matters more than lots of words. Or, self-forgiveness is a concept/ reality to absorb without forever picking it apart. Or quelling the IC is a fact/ 'absence', rather than always being an effort. Etc.

(I'm sorry, having trouble with 'words', hope this makes sense. :( )
That actually makes loads of sense and resonates. I didn't get a sense that you were having trouble with 'words'. I remember her being kind to me when I was just freaking out and her trying to get me to breathe. So that has helped me to understand a bit that the world hasn't imploded because I told her something.

I can totally relate. I have big sections where I have no memory of what was said. If my T gives advice for strategies or things he would like me to try, I sometimes ask him to email them to me so I can review them later. I am very honest about forgetting or my inability to be attentive due to the stress in the session and he is understanding.
I might ask that (although struggling as she was going to email me something weeks ago and hasn't and I haven't been brave enough to remind her).

Thanks all. I'm sorry you all find it hard remembering too. Thank you for sharing your experiences.
 
Maybe the healing is you start to remember naturally without help. Or you do not have extreme need to recall everything like when you meet with a good friend and you just feel the conversation but not every word.
Or maybe you have a need that is not being met and this need to recall every thing is manifestation of that need.
I wonder what happens if you tell the therapist you have this need
Thanks @grit , I think there is a lot in what you say. I've always been the 'fixer' in my family and the one who is 'emotionally stable' (aka not having any). So my T knows I'm struggling with not solving the problem of me. I think this might all be related somehow and I should talk to my T about it more.
And I think it is also linked to my need to be in control to manage danger. I think.
And makes sense I suppose, the more I will be able to remember naturally means I'm disassociating less and healing more. Wish I could fast forward to that bit!
 
I hope you focus on the source then and maybe it is a matter of dealing with that. I am also control freak and now that I notice.... I am focusing to release the grip than focusing all the little ways I coped before.....the recognition alone at least for me was a release.
 
That makes sense too.

Change is hard....
Somehow I thought I would just need to talk about the trauma and then carry on with life. But now realise quite how naive I was! I actually have to change. ?
 
That makes sense too.

Change is hard....
Somehow I thought I would just need to talk about the trauma and then carry on with life. But now realise quite how naive I was! I actually have to change. ?

That's pretty normal, I think. I remember when I started, I believed that if I just worked really hard and did everything my T said, I'd cure myself. I think it takes a little while to come to these little realisations as you move through therapy. But the important thing to remember is if you're having those realisations, and you're being honest with yourself about them, like you obviously are, then you're doing really well and you will, in time, be able to improve your life significantly. Hang in there. :)
 
So I brought up the not remembering and it felt like T had already thought of this and she immediately offered to email me a brief note of the session afterwards to help me remember. She said she didn't usually do this. I said ok but she senses there was a 'but'. (There were a couple of 'buts') but the 'but' I told her was that I didn't want to be making her do something she doesn't normally do. Anyway she said she offered and I accepted.

However, and this is now taking the thread in a different direction:
She hasn't emailed me.
Therapy ended yesterday afternoon, over 24 hours ago. Has she forgotten?

The problem with this is that she forgot to email me an article several weeks ago and I haven't been brave enough to say anything and how it made me feel (we've spoken a lot about how I feel not thought about and forgotten by so many people and how hard it is for me to ask for something for some one as I don't want to be let down, which feels the usual outcome).
And this was another reason for the 'but' that I didn't tell her.

So now: I'm in a pickle. I feel totally unable to email her to remind her. I don't want to disturb her or be embarrassed or face this.
Equally I keep checking my emails and my junk folder obsessively.
And ironically, and very annoyingly, I remember I lot of the stupid session this time.
 
Oh what a pickle. So sorry it has happened. Personally, people having good intentions, but not following through, causes huge ripples inside me - or total flat-line.
I can relate to the idea of bridging this subject with your t being impossible. Don't have anything "wise" to add I'm afraid - haven't been able to handle similar situations of my own.
But I have experience with not being able to remember what was said in session. I also tried to take notes afterwards, but struggled with it. Notes in session was not an option for me.
My t offered to write down - in session - notes in a little book/journal, which she then placed in an outside pocket on my backpack at the end of the session (the "passing on" of the note book was my suggestion). When I entered the room at the beginning of the session I placed the note book on a low shelf by the door - we had to work out an odd choreography to minimize situations that sent my fear through the roof. Anyways, point being; my t wrote down notes/short sentences at the end of the session, so even though it was not something she had done before, it didn't involve her using her free time or the short period between clients. And it didn't feel too much like "special treatment", which is a big trigger for me.
If I had been more brave I should have opened up about how the notes were received, as that might have been helpful for my t - and myself. As with the emailing between sessions; it may seem simple and straightforward, but can cause many complex side-effects. Probably great material to bring to explore in session, if you realize it - and have the courage.

I hope you find a not-too-rough path forward with your t.
 
6 months of no memories of therapy. That was my intro. Too much too soon is my lesson learnt. Referred to a psydoc who taught me to put on the brakes first. Not to say there weren’t some dreadful slips that left me shaken for hours or required us to walk outside the office for much of the session. But all this was about teaching me that I will get through it. And that my body will survive it. Every single time.
 
Oh what a pickle. So sorry it has happened. Personally, people having good intentions, but not following through, causes huge ripples inside me - or total flat-line.
I can relate to the idea of bridging this subject with your t being impossible. Don't have anything "wise" to add I'm afraid - haven't been able to handle similar situations of my own.
But I have experience with not being able to remember what was said in session. I also tried to take notes afterwards, but struggled with it. Notes in session was not an option for me.
My t offered to write down - in session - notes in a little book/journal, which she then placed in an outside pocket on my backpack at the end of the session (the "passing on" of the note book was my suggestion). When I entered the room at the beginning of the session I placed the note book on a low shelf by the door - we had to work out an odd choreography to minimize situations that sent my fear through the roof. Anyways, point being; my t wrote down notes/short sentences at the end of the session, so even though it was not something she had done before, it didn't involve her using her free time or the short period between clients. And it didn't feel too much like "special treatment", which is a big trigger for me.
If I had been more brave I should have opened up about how the notes were received, as that might have been helpful for my t - and myself. As with the emailing between sessions; it may seem simple and straightforward, but can cause many complex side-effects. Probably great material to bring to explore in session, if you realize it - and have the courage.

I hope you find a not-too-rough path forward with your t.
It is all a mindfield. I'm stopping with the emailing. And just trying to be present in the session. And I might start asking her to recap at the end. Really I think I have to learn to regulate my emotions. Sounds so simple writing that down!!

6 months of no memories of therapy. That was my intro. Too much too soon is my lesson learnt. Referred to a psydoc who taught me to put on the brakes first. Not to say there weren’t some dreadful slips that left me shaken for hours or required us to walk outside the office for much of the session. But all this was about teaching me that I will get through it. And that my body will survive it. Every single time.
Yeah it's tough isn't it? Trying to be present enough to tell ourselves we're safe, we're not 'back there', is such a skill that seems not even remotely possible when it's all emotionally there.
 
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