How To Stop Blocking Your Emotions

[kris]

In my recent therapy sessions we have been working on me telling my story and I am having a hard time not blocking out my feelings. As I am speaking and telling the therapist my memories, I can't help but block everything out, how does one get around this? I am trying not to block everything again, and I tell myself to pay attention and feel the emotions, but I haven't been able to.

It is as if I am back in the moment of the different trauma situations and I am reverting back to my survival technique of pretending nothing was happening and blocking everything out. As I said I really am trying but nothing I do seems to work to make me feel these damn feelings and emotions that I need to, to make any progress in therapy. Right now therapy is just pissing me off because I don't know how to express my feelings, and that's all the therapist keeps asking. I know that's the point of it all, but feelings are nothing to me besides anger and sadness, I don't know how to distinguish any other emotions. Having someone ask me all the damn time how things made me feel just pisses me off because I DON'T KNOW!

 

[cat]

Hi kris

What you are experiencing in therapy is very normal. Its hard for us to build up trust in our therapists to be able to 'let go' of how we feel, its self preservation, as you say a survival technique, if we don't allow ourselves to feel those emotions we can pretend it didn't happen.

Have you tried telling your T that you don't know how to express your emotions. After many months of therapy I finally told my T that I didn't understand what she wanted me to say, I had been afraid to tell her before worrying that she'd think I was just being awkward. She was relieved I told her as then she understood why I couldn't answer so many of her questions, she thought I was just avoiding them. It soon became apparent that I hadn't had the opportunity to express emotion as a young child & learn the self soothing strategies that I need to experience them, so they turned into anxiety & I learnt to ignore them.

Gradually my T is teaching me how to put what I feel into words & how to identify each emotion. Its hard work & very confusing at times but an essential part of my recovery.

Talking about this on the forum & getting some advise is the first important step to recognising how important being able to express your emotions is. I hope you can find the courage to discuss it with your therapist, it really will make a big difference to your therapy sessions.

Stay strong, therapy is tough but in time you will find it very rewarding.

 

[Lexa]

Hi Kris, I am experiencing the same thing with my T. He constantly asks me how I am feeling right now and I just look at him and say "I don't know". I empathize with you and your frustrations, and I think I will speak to him about this as Cat has suggested. He told me that I excel in avoidance. Maybe I am avoiding feeling or maybe I dont know how to feel..once again I dont know.