Hsv-2

[Emonon]

I had one major episode of HSV-2 (genital herpes) when I was 54 years old. I had not been with anyone for nearly two four years before it came on. I've only been with three sexual partners, in long term relationships, whom I believed to be "clean". When I told my doctor this he said that herpes can live a long, long time in somebody. He said he had patients (women) who had their first, or a single in their 70's who had always been faithful in their only marriage. Some talked with their husbands after the diagnosis (whom they had assumed always faithful, as they had been) and some husbands admitted to have had a single sexual encounter in their 30's - Of course, I realize people lie. But maybe it was true.

Anyway, my diagnosis was nearly six years ago. It devastated me. I haven't been with anyone since, nor have I had another outbreak. I can imagine having a romantic relationship, but when ever I do I make myself stop wanting one because I don't know how to deal with the diagnosis or how we'd deal with sex since I'm allergic to latex. Can anyone help me get over this. My PTSD is pretty well managed, but this, well, I just don't know how to manage it.

 

[Afawe]

I believe there are other alternatives to latex, especially now a days. When you become intimate again, before you become intimate I should say, you have a nice sit down talk with the person involved about what happened. You also find out if they have anything they want to talk about in regards to this. I have genital warts, from my first husband(know this for a fact), and I had to share this with my second husband to be. It was a very hard subject to breach, but a necessary one. They are not active and haven't been since they were discovered, but I still had to share. I was embarrassed. I have a hard enough time telling medical staff when asked. Trust in yourself and your partner. You can do this. Get help from your therapist if you have one.

 

[Risiv]

OP here.
I know intellectually herpes is supposed to be very common. I will ask my doctor about alternatives. Once I find out about that then maybe I'll talk to my therapist. There is no partner - that's the crux of the issue. The grow old with someone idea is still with me. I'd like to do it and I'm better in so many ways now, but this is stopping me from even going out with somebody causually :o(

I never even thought about warts down there, lol! Not laughing at you; laughing at my ignorance.

 

[Ajapi]

Just letting you know your not alone. I too have herpes. I contracted it from my current partner who had no idea he had it. So we are together and neither of us have had an outbreak in years. It doesn't affect our sex life in any way and is almost forgotten about. BUT part of me wonders, if this had not have happened, would we still be together? I think I may still be with him for the same reason that you are single. The fear of bringing up the subject with a new partner would be hard to confront. Remembering the devastation of the initial diagnosis is almost unbearable but my partner did not feel so overwhelmed when he was diagnosed he is a cool cucumber, he accepted and moved on with our life together. I fretted and stressed for years before I could accept, maybe this is a part of PTSD, struggling with moving forward? Now I'm rambling, sorry! Just wanted to say I understand.

 

[Oviw]

OP here.
AJapi - Thanks so much for your reply. I'm glad you both found out you have it and are still together. And, in a weird way, your reply gave me hope. What if I meet somebody and they bring it up? Well then, assuming the match in other ways is good, maybe it will lead to longevity in the relationship, eh?

If you don't mind me asking, do the two of you use "protection" now?

 

[Tinaga]

I'm glad it gives you hope, we have been together for 13 years and most of the time happy, like all relationships there are ups and downs.

I don't mind you asking personal questions... go ahead! No we don't use protection. I find condoms irritate me.