Husband Inventing Facts And Narratives, What Is This??

[cupfish]

Hi All, My husband and I both have CPTSD. He has "episodes" where he is unable to accurately process what another is saying, choosing instead to hurl bombs and protect himself. I understand his hypervigilance, we understand his diagnosis and healing, we have been together awhile. Only yesterday did he understand something I have talked to him about literally dozens of times, for a decade -- when he has an episode he accuses me of saying something I didn't say, of acting or believing something that I didn't do or don't believe, and building a giant angry super trigger that is fueled by information he has invented out of thin air. What is this?? Does anybody else get triggered to the point of inventing things that didn't happen? It's kind of scary. He is scared today, because for some reason he actually owned last night's behavior. I had thought he understood he went off the deep end and threw falsehoods around. Apparently he didn't. OMG. I have dissociated many times but I never invented facts. Help.

 

[Gs172003]

My husband does this too but as of yet hasn't been diagnosed with anything.

 

[cupfish]

He agreed to go on SSRIs, we will see. Is being a jerk a medical condition? ;)

 

[QuirkyQuail]

You are not alone. My husband does something similar, albeit less pronounced/extreme. He will take something innocuous that I say and build up a whole scenario around it, make decisions based upon this scenario he has conjured and make assumptions about my behavior based on said scenario. When I try to 'set the record straight' about what I said, he becomes irritable and defensive no matter how gently I try and explain.

For background, my husband has diagnosed PTSD from military combat. He was unable to complete a TBI test, but I have suspicions that there may be some Traumatic Brain Injury as well. One can only be blown up so many times .... I am a sexual assault and domestic violence survivor, so I have my own triggers and buttons to deal with.

 

[Lebil]

It is nice to hear from you.. and know something more..

 

[Sideways]

Compulsive lying can be a diagnoseable mental illness in itself, but frequent lying is also a feature of several different personality disorders. If your husband actually believes what he's saying is the truth, it becomes confabulation, or even a form of psychopathy.

The reason for that little chunk of info is that this could be a symptom of a treatable mental illness, or even just traits of a personality disorder that, with proper support, could improve substantially.

It's worth having a non-fonfronting convo with hubby to find out if he's spoken to his T about this. It's one of those symptoms that people don't like to self-report, assuming they're even aware they're doing it.

This is not a situation where you need to suffer in silence. Much like your cptsd, it's a symptom, it's causing distress, and it may be something he can get treatment for. There's often an immense underlying shame for people who lie all the time, which is not to say that it's okay. But you may find that hubby needs to be super-reassured that you're on his side and willing to support him to get help with this.

 

[Rumors]

My husband does this too... He inserts his own story line as if they were fact then expounds them in to lies. He comes up with some pretty hurtful things and sometimes I have questioned whether or not it is me that is so sick. Be aware that misrepresenting facts in that way can be a tool for a manipulative person to wear you down. Sometimes I bite and let it trigger me but often I just look the other way and try and realize how really sick that is. My husband has never been diagnosed with anything nor does he think anything is wrong with him. He does not see a doctor either.