I Am Stopping Therapy

[aatredes]

Hi everyone,

I have to stop therapy because it is bringing out too much for me at one time and I've had suicidal thoughts/ideation for the past week. I do not think therapy is good for me. My nightmares and flashbacks have increased dramatically. I did ok for about a month in therapy but have really gone downhill for the past couple of weeks, so I called my therapist and told her I was stopping therapy. She really did not want me to, but it is my choice, so I told her if I felt I could ever feel those feelings again I would come back.

I will continue to be supportive and learn from others here. This is a great forum and everyone is so nice here. I'm glad this forum is here.

My quit smoking attempt (6th one) failed. Depression got worse because of that. I have early emphysema. So I'm scared, on top of the PTSD and serious health issues with my mom (1000 miles away from me).

Like I said I will continue to stay here on the boards, give support and read articles. I have learned a lot here and it's a good place to be.

Thanks for reading.

 

[Heather]

Hi.

Just from what I've read I don't think it's a good idea that you stop therapy. You're nightmares, flashbacks have increased dramatically.....this is when you need the support of your therapist the most. Why are you bailing now?

I've spent the last 2 years in therapy doing everything possible to AVOID dealing with my issues because it's just to damn painful to face BUT I've finally decided to get serious and deal with my trauma's from childhood. It's sucks and I hate it but I'm doing it and YOU CAN TOO.
I know it's hard but you need to hang in there or you will never get better. Now is NOT the time to quit.

You also need to stop smoking ASAP. You are putting yourself at serious risk but I'm not telling you anything you don't already know.

Take care of yourself as best as possible.

Hugs and much love. Heather

 

[Abrasky]

Has anything happened differently lately in regard to your meds. I know one antideppressant actually made me more hypervigilent when I started taking it, suicidal and having nightmares. 3 other antideppressants I took over the years didn't do this. I just thought I'd mention this in case it is a med thing. If it isn't disregard.

What therapy are you doing? I know there are some therapies which go at a snails pace and some that go faster. EDMR goes fast and cognitive beahvioural therapy goes at a snails pace.

How long have you been going to therapy for?

Breaks from therapy aren't a bad thing. I had a year that the flashbacks became so bad, I was banging my head on the wall, something I had never done in 10 years of therapy. So I only saw my therapist 3 times. Sometimes Iv'e need time to recover from a bad lot of memories coming back. But sometimes I've had bad memories come back and it has gotten worse just before a big improvement. I just go to a couple more sessions to tie up loose ends to get that improvement. Maybe you are going to have a big breakthrough soon or have gotten to close to the painful memories too soon.

 

[Nicolette]

I have to stop therapy because it is bringing out too much for me at one time and I've had suicidal thoughts/ideation for the past week. I do not think therapy is good for me. My nightmares and flashbacks have increased dramatically. I did ok for about a month in therapy but have really gone downhill for the past couple of weeks, so I called my therapist and told her I was stopping therapy.

Aatredes, have you read all the information relating to effective therapy? Generally speaking if therapy is working you will feel worse before you get better. If you go to therapy and come out feeling good it is generally because you have offloaded stuff which is generally bothering you.

Coming out feeling like you described means that you are hitting the core issues and facing the underlying issues which need healing. I would really encourage you not to stop therapy. Slow it down if you must but it sounds like you are making progress and if you have the opportunity to be in situation to deal with your trauma I'd be 100% behind you.

 

[KP the nut]

Aatredes, IMHO and from what I've felt and read. Therapy does make you feel worse, in fact at times it was as if I'd been in another car wreck. The memories, flashbacks and emotions were off the scale.

I was warned and prepared that this would be the case. It didn't make the reality any easier but I knew it was a normal reaction. My T gave me the option to switch to fortnightly sessions instead of weelky, I didn't but reducing the frequency of therapies my help you. Please reconsider.

I've never smoked but have watched friends struggling to give up, sorry to nag but you must try for the sake of your health.

Whatever you decide I'll support you.
Take care
(((HUGS)))
KP

 

[intothelight]

Hi Aatredes,

It is really hard to tackle an addiction, deal with family issues, and handle increases in symptoms associated with therapy. Doing it all at once can definitely feel overwhelming.

I am in the middle of quiting smoking also. I have found myself lighting up a few times and then feeling like failure. But my daughter reminded me, that one is like a piece of cake on a diet. Don't give up the diet because of the cake. So instead of beating myself up for a backslide, I am looking at it that one was better than a pack; and to do better the next hour.

Please be kind to yourself as there is a lot on your plate. Taking a step back to regroup is never a bad idea, but don't give up on everything. You work to hard to get to where you are at, and you deserve to reap the benefits of your work.

Wishing you peace.
Debbie

 

[Tinyflame]

Dear Aatredes, I seem to recall another thread of yours of how happy you were feeling about your therapy, and the progress made. Please don't give up.:unsure:

 

[anthony]

I have to stop therapy because it is bringing out too much for me at one time and I've had suicidal thoughts/ideation for the past week. I do not think therapy is good for me. My nightmares and flashbacks have increased dramatically. I did ok for about a month in therapy but have really gone downhill for the past couple of weeks, so I called my therapist and told her I was stopping therapy.

You're running away from the solution because now your starting to see the hard parts of therapy, being the exact parts that are normal and you must break through, otherwise you are only going to remain the same for the rest of your life. 6 - 12 months of hard work, a bit of self strength and resilience, and life becomes a whole lot better.

My quit smoking attempt (6th one) failed. Depression got worse because of that. I have early emphysema. So I'm scared, on top of the PTSD and serious health issues with my mom (1000 miles away from me).

This seems more like the problem than therapy. Not sure why you are trying to give up smoking whilst doing trauma therapy. Either do it prior or after, not during. As you stated, giving up smoking will change your bodies chemical makeup, thus depression is normal, along with anxiety, etc... people without PTSD who give up smoking go through this... let alone with PTSD.

The issue with worry about your mother is not ideal during trauma therapy. I can only point you to read the document attached in this forum: [DLMURL]http://www.ptsdforum.org/c/threads/ptsd-therapy-one-page-as-simple-as-it-gets.16010/[/DLMURL] which says exactly the opposite of things you are doing, and are going on in your life outside of your control.

Giving up however is not the solution. Deferring during times that have additional stress, absolutely.

 

[ronin47]

Okay, fair warning, I'm going to be very frank and blunt with you dear.

Quitting therapy at this point for you is a very very very very very bad idea. Anybody who has had any level of success with therapy for their trauma will tell you that things get much worse before they get better.

I didn't even consider much of what I went through as a child abuse in my own mind. The first few months of truly effective therapy was essentially devoted to getting me to the point of just acknowledging that I had experienced trauma. Yes, it was horrible when my mind confronted the fact that I was sexually molested at age 8, I couldn't see or hear about anything sexual after that without being triggered. Yes, it was painful to actually experience emotion over the way my father belittled and demeaned me as an adolescent, I had an enormous amount of anger and frustration in me that had not been there before. It was difficult, but it would've been FAR worse if I had just left it alone and not tried to talk about it. I don't even want to think about what my life would be like if I hadn't "stuck it out." It was anything but easy, but it did begin to improve once I had worked through everything. I still go to therapy and work through my problems but I am in an infinitely better place than I was two years ago.

Of course it brings out hard stuff for you! That's the point! I can 100% gaurantee you quitting therapy is not going to help anything. I have zero doubt in my mind you're going to find yourself back at the place you were before you started therapy sooner than you probably thing. The time you will spend degenerating outside of therapy is time you could've been spending working through and confronting your trauma and getting to the point where the symptoms actually start to improve. If you end up back in therapy you're just going to be starting at square one again. Either way you're going to struggle with these symptoms of PTSD. One way they will get worse for a little while and then go away, the other way they will be with you forever, which do you want? Until you stop supressing your trauma and actually confront it, nothing is going to improve.

You are not capable of getting better all on your own. I pray you will realize that sooner rather than later.

 

[Abrasky]

There is a point where emotions get less painful from memories as they wear themselves out. It is a bit like grief really and it may be really rough now but they will get better later. It might be a month, if it's a really close underlying issue, a year and a half. SO the pain will not last forever which is nice to know.

I'm not really sure whether you are doing underlying issues or not, but if you are, you will a long period of time will be like hell, and that might be a good time to tell your therapist not to start anything new, but to support you getting through the current issues instead. This is a sought of compromise, so you can get support for the current things that might be coming out, but not get extra things coming out at the same time. I have to disagree about doing therapy with new issues while doing major underlying issues. I usually wait until I finish processing until I start a new one. If it takes 1 half years to process an issue, then I wait 1 half years before going back. If it takes 1 month (pretty much all of them I wait a month and then go back.

I read somewhere once that your brain won't let out trauma until you are ready. Your brain obviously thinks you are ready to deal with big issues so that's a good sign you are getting stronger. My therapist told me it was ready to deal with underlying issues because I was finally strong enough.

 

[aatredes]

I cut down to once a week instead of twice.

Anthony to answer your question about quitting smoking and going through therapy at the same time, you bet it's rough. I have been smoking heavily for 32 years and have had many attempts to quit. In the process I have developed early emphysema. I have to save what is left of my lungs. I am trying to cut down by using a lot of different stop smoking techniques. It's imperative to my health that I stop; I am type 2 diabetic also.

There will be no sense in having my mental health if I cannot breathe without oxygen, thus bringing more depression and anxiety into my life. Does this make sense?

Also thanks for the article I have to read it again as it takes me a bit to let things "sink in"; I need to print it out so I can re-read it until I understand. Right now my printer is angry so I have to wait for hubby to fix it :eek:

Thanks all for your support. I think twice a week was too much for me at once.

 

[KP the nut]

I cut down to once a week instead of twice. Thanks all for your support. I think twice a week was too much for me at once.

I think this will be more manageable for you whilst giving you the professional support you need. Good for you and good luck with the giving up smoking.

(((HUGS)))
KP